Tuesday 30 October 2012 
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Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13506) - you deserved it (1271)
On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13447) - you deserved it (2611)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13336) - you deserved it (3133)
On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)
Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13269) - you deserved it (978)
Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12732) - you deserved it (3470)
On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while studying liver pathology and highlighting important lines in my textbook, I realized that I could count the number of words I hadn't highlighted on one hand, over the last six pages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12183) - you deserved it (7145)
On 11/01/2012 at 5:18pm - misc - by ThisisMedSchool - United States (Tennessee)
Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9305) - you deserved it (15701)
On 11/04/2012 at 9:16am - work - by cassiebee - United States (Utah)
Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (16169)
On 10/29/2012 at 2:10pm - kids - by JiggaJayZ - United States
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7536) - you deserved it (28222)
On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7414) - you deserved it (16173)
On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7100) - you deserved it (50849)
On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6944) - you deserved it (17330)
On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)
Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6883) - you deserved it (28509)
On 11/02/2012 at 11:39am - health - by Midnightpearls - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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