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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37691) - you deserved it (6088)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37496) - you deserved it (4098)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today, in preparation for a third interview for my dream job, I spent an hour selecting the perfect outfit. I hung everything on my bedroom door and went to shower. My dog decided to play tug-of-war with the clothing and redesign the shoes. The only thing to survive unscathed was the hanger. FML

#20681337
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37483) - you deserved it (6691)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:52am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML

#20666712
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37450) - you deserved it (9981)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

#20679582
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37365) - you deserved it (9765)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37301) - you deserved it (8211)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

Today, while on my way to an important interview, I was stopped and ticketed for speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed up, I was told they forgot to call and let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37130) - you deserved it (3202)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

#20687417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36895) - you deserved it (3890)

On 05/26/2013 at 1:55pm - health - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML

#20658454
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36386) - you deserved it (13132)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by walmart: first time, last time (man) - United States

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36155) - you deserved it (4755)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

#20679773
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36070) - you deserved it (12771)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)



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