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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML

#20513499
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33879) - you deserved it (2712)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, while my mother-in-law visited, I asked if she wouldn't mind watching my son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shaved his head completely bald. That was his very first haircut. FML

#20494705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33865) - you deserved it (2798)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:48pm - kids - by missedout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML

#20513337
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (7734)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

#20500833
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (2642)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (5186)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33717) - you deserved it (3894)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33621) - you deserved it (5277)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

#20516248
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33585) - you deserved it (2367)

On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML

#20507668
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33584) - you deserved it (3682)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

#20523139
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33450) - you deserved it (7308)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm - love - by pooh anne (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you deserved it (4978)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML

#20517316
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33303) - you deserved it (4223)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by PoorMe - United States

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33270) - you deserved it (3620)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)



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