Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29261) - you deserved it (9061)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by selfishsexysanta (woman) - United States
Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29135) - you deserved it (4856)
On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29049) - you deserved it (6630)
On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States
Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29038) - you deserved it (1971)
On 12/20/2012 at 12:55am - health - by antiqued - United States (California)
Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29003) - you deserved it (2002)
On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28728) - you deserved it (3219)
On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)
Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28611) - you deserved it (8161)
On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28335) - you deserved it (1873)
On 12/29/2012 at 10:23am - health - by Amathiel (woman) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)
Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28191) - you deserved it (2035)
On 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm - money - by dude, where's my balls? :( (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28123) - you deserved it (1480)
On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28099) - you deserved it (313)
On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my trunk froze shut with my Christmas presents inside. Since it was still shut, I went to the store. When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open. All of my gifts were gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28080) - you deserved it (3986)
On 12/27/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by wheresmysweater - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28066) - you deserved it (1763)
On 12/30/2012 at 1:14am - work - by avoid the sour cream - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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