Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML

#12447097
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35013) - you deserved it (3144)

On 08/11/2010 at 2:50am - love - by sadface - United States

Today, my girlfriend was really depressed. I listed the top 50 reasons why I love her. Her response was "thanks for that but seriously, this video on youtube is hilarious." I couldn't cheer her up but apparently a 10 second video of a dog running in circles can. FML

#8238401
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26345) - you deserved it (3144)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Samson (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML

#19559946
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16750) - you deserved it (3144)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Megannn (woman) - United States

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

#20991671
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39856) - you deserved it (3144)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

#21071350
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37691) - you deserved it (3144)

On 02/25/2014 at 3:42pm - work - by cunting cuntface of a boss (man) - Australia

Today, I received the final piece of puzzle that my boyfriend of two years has been sending me through the mail for the last week. Turns out, it wasn't a love letter like I originally thought it was. He was breaking up with me via a puzzle through the mail. FML

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

#13415176
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23193) - you deserved it (3143)

On 10/12/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by tdiz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, one of my really close friends changed from being 'free' to 'quite busy' in the space of one conversation because I suggested that we hang out. FML

#15870197
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (3143)

On 04/21/2011 at 4:33am - misc - by gutted (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22846) - you deserved it (3143)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after spending the night at my boyfriend's house, I was heading out the door when he called me back to hand me something I had left at his house a while ago. It was one of my bras. It wasn't until I got home I noticed the cup size was a B. I'm a size D. FML

#5793805
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36269) - you deserved it (3142)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:03am - love - by Jennagirl (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

#20915293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38710) - you deserved it (3142)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

#21138754
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38305) - you deserved it (3142)

On 05/13/2014 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

#5346729
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58963) - you deserved it (3141)

On 09/19/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by asthmasucks (man) - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: