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Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML

#19736092
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31967) - you deserved it (2843)

On 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm - work - by kufan1324 - United States

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29929) - you deserved it (2843)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, my friend told me that she gave my number to a guy I've liked for a while. I asked why and she just said "He's just going to have to tell you himself." I got hopeful and really nervous. A few hours later he calls. Turns out, he's called to try and get a date with my gay friend. FML

#3491271
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33986) - you deserved it (2842)

On 07/04/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by Single4Life (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

#13071256
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28341) - you deserved it (2842)

On 09/16/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by itchybollos - Australia

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

#18095275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24298) - you deserved it (2842)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

#16862
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36148) - you deserved it (2841)

On 02/09/2009 at 2:51am - intimacy - by V (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML

#6435138
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (2841)

On 11/24/2009 at 11:08am - love - by Yes (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23236) - you deserved it (2841)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45755) - you deserved it (2841)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

#20736654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40687) - you deserved it (2841)

On 06/20/2013 at 2:32am - work - by Whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

#20912417
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47470) - you deserved it (2841)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML

#581
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29072) - you deserved it (2840)

On 12/23/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Lililaloose - Sent from mobile version

Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML

#5680173
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22510) - you deserved it (2840)

On 10/06/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by Crappit (man) - United States (New York)



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