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Today, I went to the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 for a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying for my own drinks plus theirs. FML

#2588654
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46078) - you deserved it (2923)

On 06/04/2009 at 12:52am - money - by doubledown (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I told my husband that while he was away I had had a miscarriage. His response? "If you can't take care of our baby while it is still inside you, how can I trust you to take care of it when it comes out?" FML

#6752846
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36003) - you deserved it (2923)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by sadsadlady (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36704) - you deserved it (2923)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML

#15487602
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47651) - you deserved it (2923)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:07pm - health - by dazzla08 -

Today, while I was working my shift at the store, my girlfriend appeared and asked to talk to me. Once we were alone, she burst into tears and started sobbing. Turns out someone's dad died in her favorite TV show and she wanted some comfort. FML

#19959059
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24027) - you deserved it (2923)

On 07/19/2012 at 1:36pm - love - by Mitch (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43997) - you deserved it (2923)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML

#20980172
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40631) - you deserved it (2923)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:50am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was in class just taking notes and minding my own business. The teacher has already called my parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine and rips them up, saying that she is sick and tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board. FML

#5408383
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44678) - you deserved it (2922)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by wait..what (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

#5525269
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42639) - you deserved it (2922)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:13am - kids - by justgreat (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

#5876001
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17333) - you deserved it (2922)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

#2894787
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58470) - you deserved it (2921)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by bitches. (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother came over again to help me work on my Student Aid application. She also brought over the savings bonds that she has been accumulating since I was born to help pay for college. Turns out they won't reach maturity until I'm thirty. She never bothered to check out this fact. I'm screwed for college. FML

#14476476
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22242) - you deserved it (2921)

On 01/05/2011 at 5:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML

#17351481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38927) - you deserved it (2921)

On 08/03/2011 at 2:01am - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)



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