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Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

#8180539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19028) - you deserved it (2973)

On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

#18067160
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22165) - you deserved it (2973)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43796) - you deserved it (2973)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30312) - you deserved it (2973)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25360) - you deserved it (2972)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

#577
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23892) - you deserved it (2971)

On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19775) - you deserved it (2971)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made a joke about having a wedding to my mom and she told me not to joke about something that will probably never happen. FML

#21465
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32119) - you deserved it (2971)

On 02/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by NoWedding (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

#37272
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35317) - you deserved it (2971)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by sarahhh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fired from the trucking company I work for, due to numerous complaints about my reckless driving. I don't even do driving work there, but my ex keeps calling in to report me, and my boss wanted the calls to stop. FML

#15285580
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36054) - you deserved it (2971)

On 03/12/2011 at 6:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I struggled through a one hour traffic jam to get to the airport to pick up my dad who was just coming back from an overseas trip. I got there only to find that he had given me the wrong date, and I had to drive home. Best part? I have to do it all over again tomorrow. FML

#18279451
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (2971)

On 11/18/2011 at 5:49am - misc - by Etyl (woman) - Indonesia (Jawa Tengah)

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41425) - you deserved it (2971)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

#20737123
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44395) - you deserved it (2971)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:54pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)



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