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Today, I was at a family meeting about opening up a business. During it, I had an allergic reaction and my throat began to close. Nobody tried to help. In fact, pictures were taken. FML

Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML

#3834940
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33718) - you deserved it (2499)

On 07/17/2009 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML

#6580015
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (2498)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

#17757259
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (2498)

On 09/16/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by Smart - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32870) - you deserved it (2498)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

#19484491
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (2498)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML

Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML

#19956354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20668) - you deserved it (2498)

On 07/18/2012 at 8:41pm - work - by FOXYgrandpa441 - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow my laundry room key. He was bare-ass naked. When I refused to open the door, he tried to break it down. I had to call the police before he would leave. FML

Today, I was sent to an elementary school for safety day. One of the dads was asking about my job, when I told him about the long hours and high stress involved. He turned to his son and said "Now see why you stay in school?" I'm a paramedic. With a bachelor's degree. FML

#899104
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49613) - you deserved it (2497)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:07am - work - by Franco (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML

#6181842
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30398) - you deserved it (2497)

On 11/06/2009 at 12:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML

#13350448
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31268) - you deserved it (2497)

On 10/07/2010 at 12:21am - animals - by lindsey789 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML

#18738819
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19476) - you deserved it (2497)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:50pm - kids - by ProudMama (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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