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Today, I text messaged my mom from Afghanistan to let her know everything was okay. She responded, telling me not to message her so much because "the price of text messages really adds up." FML

#13842937
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36918) - you deserved it (3254)

On 11/14/2010 at 5:26pm - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML

#17513868
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25965) - you deserved it (3254)

On 08/18/2011 at 10:10pm - love - by ddeit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43078) - you deserved it (3254)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40361) - you deserved it (3254)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML

#21234756
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35799) - you deserved it (3254)

On 08/11/2014 at 10:18am - work - by mcmanager - United States (California)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29656) - you deserved it (3255)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML

#15252326
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47413) - you deserved it (3253)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by sosad -

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40484) - you deserved it (3254)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

#19817734
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26418) - you deserved it (3253)

On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)

Today, I texted my dad and told him I was getting married in five months. His reply: "I gotta work that day." FML

#13636513
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (3252)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by Kristinmarsh08 - United States (Texas)

Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML

#13111931
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27903) - you deserved it (3252)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:11am - misc - by lifesuck - United States

Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML

#16307240
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (3252)

On 05/23/2011 at 12:26am - work - by 11lyss1 -



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