Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58400) - you deserved it (3405)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was dismissed from my job at an unemployment agency. In order to receive financial support from the government I need to be cooperating with a job service provider. They paired me up with the same place I was just fired from. FML

#21101310
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39547) - you deserved it (3405)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML

#4647409
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47414) - you deserved it (3404)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:55am - love - by fuuuudge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I stepped into the shower, I slipped and fell over the edge of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with me. I called my roommate to help me up as I put on a towel over me. But before she could help me up, she grabbed her phone to take a picture. The picture became a mass text. FML

#6150429
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29142) - you deserved it (3404)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by xo007 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a girl I work with was talking to me in an Eeyore voice. I'm not sure if it's because she's sad and pathetic, or if she thinks I'm sad and pathetic. FML

#13155074
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18181) - you deserved it (3405)

On 09/22/2010 at 10:36am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after my son graduated from nursing school which I, as a single parent, paid for with blood, sweat, and tears, during his grad party he was asked what his next step was. His response was, "Eh, I kinda realized I hate nursing." FML

#18060058
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36448) - you deserved it (3404)

On 10/24/2011 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML

#18765648
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (3404)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - misc - by NJ <3 - United States

Today, I've invited friends and family to my birthday party. I've also come home to find that my parents didn't pay the water bill. I either have to tell everyone I know that they are uninvited or not to take dumps in my house. FML

#20949952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38481) - you deserved it (3404)

On 11/08/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by sammyducks227 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

#21389410
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28433) - you deserved it (3404)

On 04/07/2015 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

#5601123
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34061) - you deserved it (3403)

On 10/02/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by greeenbean (woman) - Samoa

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML

#6205717
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26919) - you deserved it (3403)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:28am - animals - by lessinterestingthanadog (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

#14549373
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (3403)

On 01/11/2011 at 11:04pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML

#18005500
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32464) - you deserved it (3403)

On 10/17/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by STIdiot (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: