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Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

#16479065
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25050) - you deserved it (2974)

On 06/03/2011 at 2:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

#14991299
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29965) - you deserved it (2973)

On 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by bitchasaurusrex (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32257) - you deserved it (2973)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML

#18803837
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25712) - you deserved it (2973)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:34am - misc - by katie876 (woman) - United States

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML

#21099597
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36875) - you deserved it (2973)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:06pm - health - by unlucky - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

#79769
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57348) - you deserved it (2972)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by killmenow (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I made a friend on an online chat. We got along fairly well and even traded Facebook accounts. I found out that the two of us had a lot of very surprising things in common. We were the same age, we were from the same school, and we even had the same boyfriend. FML

#7805682
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36856) - you deserved it (2972)

On 02/02/2010 at 1:57am - misc - by Zephyric - United States (California)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32985) - you deserved it (2972)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45391) - you deserved it (2972)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35250) - you deserved it (2971)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23228) - you deserved it (2971)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)

Today, my ex girlfriend that I still love sent me a text, quote "I still love you, but i'm not IN love with you" um. what? FML

#779
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22431) - you deserved it (2970)

On 01/07/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30905) - you deserved it (2970)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)



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