Wednesday 30 January 2013 
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Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22200) - you deserved it (1206)
Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29246) - you deserved it (1571)
On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (4037)
Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (2490)
On 02/06/2013 at 4:05pm - health - by AplJax3 (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (6398)
On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States
Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36595) - you deserved it (3192)
On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States
Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22638) - you deserved it (4449)
On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26501) - you deserved it (2770)
On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23758) - you deserved it (4596)
On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States
Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18004) - you deserved it (1784)
On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19501) - you deserved it (3435)
On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16848) - you deserved it (5747)
On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20347) - you deserved it (1730)
On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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