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Saturday 26 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, Ma Grandmoter Walked In On Me Watcing Porn On Ma Computer. Se Looked At Te Woman On Te Screen An Said, ( I Used To Ave Tits Like Tat, But Look Wat Aving 7 Kids Did To Tem. ) Now I'm Scarred Fir Life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23419) - you deserved it (36136)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today..!! I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them!! I played 4 four hours straight..!! only to be interrupted by a phone call!! I didn't answer cuz my sock puppets were ( on a date ) and I didn't want to stop playing!! FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31755) - you deserved it (20466)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather 4 mah bus!! When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped an fell on the icy ground!! The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time 4 this shit", closing the doors, an driving off!! FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38930) - you deserved it (2808)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, tha rollarcoastar I was on stuck upsida down for a faw minutas. I shat mysalf in tarror. Than, gravity took affact. raal FML

#20480979
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41876) - you deserved it (9833)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close shehispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (3217)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

TODAY, A PREGNANT WOMAN GOT ON TE BUS. TERE WERE NO FREE SEATS, SO I STOOD UP TO GIVE ER MINE. AN OBESE MAN PUSD PAST ER, WADDLD OVER, AND OOZD INTO MY SEAT. I SAID IT WAS 4 TE PREGNANT LADY. HE CALLD ME A "SEXIST BITC" AND CLAIMD E NEEDD IT MORE. FML

#20478664
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44339) - you deserved it (2476)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, after making love to mah boyfriend 4 the first time, he shook mah hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39183) - you deserved it (7896)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, an he took me back to his house fir the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30360) - you deserved it (4531)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

2day I hered an owl near my house . I got excited , as they are not common in the area , an I listened intently to try an locate the source of the sound . After a few minutes , I realized I was not listening to an owl , but to my mother's sex noises . FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45835) - you deserved it (4750)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today , I Saw A Ladyho Had Fainted. I Ran Over To Help , Only To Find Out That She Was Unstable An Had A Knife In Her Hand. She Was Pointing It At Me , An Growled Threateningly Every Time I Tried To Move Away. It Took The Cops An Hour To Defuse The Situation. FML

#20484368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33725) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today... a male employee at a soe sop elpd me try on soes. Once I found a pair... I went to pay for tem. I was telling te casier about ow great of an employee e was wen se told me tere were no male employees. A guy wit a foot fetis elpd me fine soes. FML

#20489969
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38391) - you deserved it (4169)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today , I was cleaning at workhen an elderly gentleman walkd toward me , pausd , and with a wink said , "That'shat I like to see: a grl on her knees." This is the same workplacehere another old man informd me that mah yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30077) - you deserved it (2619)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

2DAY MY GIRLFRIEND COMPLIMENTD ME ON MY ASS. BEFORE I COULD SAY THANKS, SHE CONTINUD BY COMMENTING THAT SHE WOULDN'T MIND "BREAKING IT IN". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35134) - you deserved it (5951)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico



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