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Sunday 2 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I ad to elp a teenage boy learn ow to float. Tis involves supporting te person's back as tey try to float. His boner stood straigt up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36396) - you deserved it (3414)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone!! On the now legles table there was a note from my mother, looool saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank herhen the world ends!! FML

#20197527
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29109) - you deserved it (1691)

On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, Ma Dog Died An I Told Ma Grandfater I Wanted Er To Be Cremated . I Cummed Ome Later To Find Im Burning Er In Our Barbecue Pit . FML

#20193405
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33154) - you deserved it (3691)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today , I want to Hollistar with mah grandmothar . Sha immadiataly startad yalling about tha music baing too loud , and ordarad tha staff to "shut tha damn thing off" . Sha was yalling at a bunch of mannaquins . FML

#20186953
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (4097)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (3722)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

someone very close to me cummed out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38769) - you deserved it (2442)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

2day I was at the breakfast tablehen my sister started eating a banana. Before I knewhat was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait 4 her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (22894)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today...hile Getting A Hernia Exam.!! !! I Accidentally Ran Mah Fingers Through Mah Doctor's Hair !! FML

#20188881
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21799) - you deserved it (8127)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp after catching me admring a photo of a bikini model which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her . FML

#20195064
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35514) - you deserved it (1968)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

Today , drunk at a party , I leaned through a window to throw up . I was outside . FML

#20182175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8821) - you deserved it (28596) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was going to give baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard an spat them out, realizing boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31983) - you deserved it (9015)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Taday I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day... grlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly... and I screamed lyk a little grl. 30 people watched... 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (21638)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, ( So, is it, like, November in Australia too? ) This is the future of America.

#20179140
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (2473)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)



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