Sex, Phone calls and Intimacy: Kinky

Kinky

By 9gingerface66 - 15/01/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 848

You deserved it 4 676

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Same thing different taste

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 730

You deserved it 15 160

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 946

You deserved it 12 716

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 335

You deserved it 28 315

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 964

You deserved it 7 868

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 285

You deserved it 2 746

Overdoing it

By Anonymous - 29/05/2020 08:00

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that I had an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 617

You deserved it 402

By TalkDirtyToMe - 10/10/2014 19:33 - New Zealand

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 092

You deserved it 7 476

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 930

You deserved it 346

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 527

You deserved it 5 442

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 707

You deserved it 78 242

SwiftFaux 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:23

That heavy breathing wasn't snoring.

CalCommando 6

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:47

"Oh baby, never bathe again... your hair is so greasy... rub that cupcake on my ankle!" Oh, not that dirty?

Comments

teyyoshi 19

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:18

what did you say?

BlindyMcGee 2

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:19

So many fail 1st comments.

RaggleFrock 13

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:34

What does it matter, he was snoring?

GoW_Chick 14

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:38

I bet she sang him a sexy lullaby, but it didn't have the desired affect.

CalCommando 6

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:47

"Oh baby, never bathe again... your hair is so greasy... rub that cupcake on my ankle!" Oh, not that dirty?

Pentium_4 27

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:58

i got a strange tingling in my pants

Savra_fml 17

Sunday 15 January 2012 13:55

She said "Baby, I've been told I'm amazing in bed. It's when somebody joins me that it all goes wrong"

fcukU30to1 2

Sunday 15 January 2012 14:09

F*** yo couch!

scampman 5

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:18

Aww.. there, there it's ok.. You'll get better ;)

samfenton89 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 13:22

I doubt she will try again soon. Confidence levels gone

girl112891 7

Sunday 15 January 2012 14:10

Don't worry, I am one of the worst dirty talker you can find. It just gets so awkward. What do I say next? It all means the same! Best way to practice though is in person. Lay on the bed together and ask him what he likes to hear. Baby steps.