Choose the period

Wednesday 21 November 2012

Choose a category


Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

by shark / 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

by williebees / 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

by Blake Lawrence / 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

by RayneSong / 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

by Unfortunate Painter / 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

by notAMrs / 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

by Ophelia / 11/22/2012 at 12:44am / United States (New Mexico) / Work

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

by anonymous / 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got laid off. Why would they lay me off right before the holidays? Because they want to make sure every one else gets a nice holiday bonus. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2012 at 11:31pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

by Anonymous Cunt / 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Health

Today, I called Costco to ask them not to renew my membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minutes telling me why I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minutes over my minute allowance. FML

by TKay916 / 11/20/2012 at 3:47am / United States (California) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I've now worked on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, the weekend after that, and two days this week. My husband and son have had all that time off, and yet I've still ended up having to clean the dishes and the house after them on all of these days. FML

by bored / 11/27/2012 at 1:05pm / United States / Work