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January 2013

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2day It's Been Two Months Since I Got A Kitten. He Loves To Hide, An Then Surprise Me By Jumping Out Of His Hiding Place. It Was Quite A Surprise When He Launched Himself Out Of Mah Bag During Class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47466) - you deserved it (6137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

DURING MA FIRST DAY AS A MEDICAL INTERN IN A NEW WARD... I WAS PERFORMING A RECTAL EXAM. MY SUPERVISOR TOUGT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO BURST INTO TE ROOM AND SCREAM... "WO R YOU?! YOU DON'T EVEN WORK ERE... YOU PERVERT!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47884) - you deserved it (3574) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

2day my daughter lerened a new song. This would looool be great , except 4 the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. mega FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I lerened that I look amazing in a little black dress!! Now I have to figure out wat I'm going to tell my wife!! FML

Today, I walked into my mother's house to fine that she had knitted cloths for some of the household appliances . The toaster was wereing a dress . FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29777) - you deserved it (3248)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today... mah nieghbor went on vacation... leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason... he calls his dog ( Cat ) an his cat ( Dog ). There r two pet food containers... one labeld ( Cat ) an the other labeld ( Dog ). I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush,ho turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked mehich dog breed I lyk the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. big fat FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32172) - you deserved it (9001)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, on mah shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38575) - you deserved it (2535)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took mah new grlfriend to meet mah grandmother. We were drinking coffee when mah gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of mah grlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (4566) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Taday my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walkd into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, coverd in ketchup. She laughedhen I began to scream. FML

#20460540
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40984) - you deserved it (4273)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, an got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time thier around, my boyfriend always looks stoned an constipated, an his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42852) - you deserved it (7373)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)



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