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Sunday 20 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50490) - you deserved it (3646)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37989) - you deserved it (6297)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19909) - you deserved it (42028)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38683) - you deserved it (3968)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34626) - you deserved it (5533)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

#20460703
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46943) - you deserved it (6415)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

#20478441
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38782) - you deserved it (3187)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

#20471606
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33757) - you deserved it (6148)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45763) - you deserved it (4664)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33863) - you deserved it (4871)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

#20470370
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32342) - you deserved it (5539)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34861) - you deserved it (4855)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)



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