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Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to putted the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, lyk in movies. As soon as I putted the dog down, it ran away again. FML
Today, mah boyfriend broke up with me cuz I'm too "high maintenance". And that's cuz I ask him to use condomshen we have sex, and I refuse to invite mah friends over fir threesomes. I don't knowhy I'm not actually glad we r broken up. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML
Taday 24-year-old brother again yelld at me for looking at himhile he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open , an if the bathroom wasn't drectly opposite bedroom. FML
Friday 27 March 2015