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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML

#5567038
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51872) - you deserved it (2532)

On 09/30/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Notthemaid (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

#5565703
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35761) - you deserved it (3269)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Rockyio (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML

#5565061
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15134) - you deserved it (33716)

On 09/30/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by explodingpupppet (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting my boss' kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML

#5564554
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13538) - you deserved it (38297)

On 09/30/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

#5563519
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9693) - you deserved it (47745)

On 09/30/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by failfailfail - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML

#5562367
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48510) - you deserved it (10046)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, it was my birthday. I asked my mom that instead of a present if she would make a donation to my favourite charity. She said that this wasn't a "proper" present for a 15-year-old girl. Instead she got me a kettle because "ours had broke and you make the most tea in the family." FML

#5561209
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33606) - you deserved it (4874)

On 09/30/2009 at 2:17am - misc - by qwerty6 - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found a parking citation from my college on my car windshield. It read PERMIT CITATION at the top. It confused me, as I had bought a parking permit 2 or 3 weeks before so that I wouldn't get a ticket. Turns out I got fined because the permit was on the wrong side of the windshield. FML

Today, whilst I was in a corner deli getting snacks, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to drive the car 50m down the street so that I would be confused when I come out... She was picked up by a cop driving without her license and now my car is impounded for 28 days. FML

#5547295
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36586) - you deserved it (2860)

On 09/29/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML

#5544276
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31554) - you deserved it (5840)

On 09/29/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by User06606 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was on a tram and I noticed an older lady having trouble getting down the stairs. I immediately got up to help her, dropping my bag on the seat accidentally. As I went to get back on the tram, the doors closed. FML

#5543779
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33843) - you deserved it (5131)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by arghh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML

#5543214
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9567) - you deserved it (68905)

On 09/29/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the reason my clothes have been smelling a little funny isn't because I sweat heavily, it's because of the dead rat in the back of my dryer. FML

#5541455
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38469) - you deserved it (4796)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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