Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (12532)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, we had a fire drill in my dorm, and I live on the 7th floor of my building. They shut the elevators down and I had to walk down 14 flights of steps. I shattered my kneecap last week. They turned the alarm off when I got to the first floor. FML

#5821457
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30048) - you deserved it (1850)

On 10/13/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by stepknee (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

#5820033
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8318) - you deserved it (39665)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to my hairdresser who promised me a haircut which "all the girls would want you" for. She gave me a combover. FML

#5819831
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23122) - you deserved it (3212)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by Chensticles - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got home and realized that I didn't have my keys and my mum had said she wasn't going to be home till the next morning. After a long wait I decided I'd have to break a window to get in. Almost immediately after closing the door I watched as my mum pulled up in the driveway. FML

Today, I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room, until someone walked out of the room next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show. FML

#5815920
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29679) - you deserved it (3734)

On 10/13/2009 at 1:26pm - misc - by draggirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I locked my keys in my car. My spare keys are 45 minutes away in my dorm room. My dorm room keys are attached to my car keys locked in my car. Security said they would let me in as long as I had my school ID. It's on my keychain. FML

#5815091
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26046) - you deserved it (6861)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML

#5812873
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28263) - you deserved it (2710)

On 10/13/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by sillystring (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36583) - you deserved it (3191)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom put a candle on in the living room. She told the family "how much she loved it!" My mom then went on the tell us that my dad got it for her and it must have been some cheap candle. I bought the candle as a gift for her on her birthday. Thanks mom. FML

#5808379
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21857) - you deserved it (2615)

On 10/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

#5799559
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31583) - you deserved it (4435)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was carrying several bags of groceries up the stairs to my 3rd story apartment when I saw a giant rat climbing down the wall towards me. I screamed and dropped my groceries, which went over the rail and landed on the bottom floor, destroying them all. The rat? Just a big leaf. FML

#5798950
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9737) - you deserved it (31797)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:19pm - misc - by n_london (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML

#5794322
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31035) - you deserved it (5109)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by shocked (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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