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Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML

#4520748
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14363) - you deserved it (35035)

On 08/14/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by whoneedsdumbcars (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML

#4518775
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42227) - you deserved it (3595)

On 08/14/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Sadasian (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out my friend has been texting my long distance boyfriend more than I do. When I confronted her about it, she confessed that it was because they had been planning a surprise appearance for me. I've never been surprised before, and I ruined my own surprise. FML

#4517705
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15571) - you deserved it (42172)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:29am - misc - by neverbeensurprised (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

#4516147
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43197) - you deserved it (6750)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44323) - you deserved it (11894)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my first facebook friend request in 4 months. I also got a message in my inbox. The message said: "Sorry, I thought you were someone else. Just ignore my friend request." FML

#4501015
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44509) - you deserved it (6889)

On 08/13/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by Jamie (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

#4499935
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7448) - you deserved it (57983)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, I was at a party with my girlfriend and this older guy came in and started talking to me about his rock climbing lessons earlier that week. I told him "I'm really drunk, so I really couldn't give a shit about what you did." It was my girlfriend's father picking her up to go home. FML

Today, it was my first day at a new school. I pulled into the parking lot and saw this really cute guy. I was checking him out in my rear view mirror. When I looked ahead, there was something in the road, so I swirved real hard and took down an entire wooden fence. That something was a plastic bag. FML

#4497607
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8696) - you deserved it (47170)

On 08/13/2009 at 8:18am - misc - by Distracted (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

#4495233
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8203) - you deserved it (60942)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by oldtexas (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

#4495207
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21375) - you deserved it (50729)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML

#4486771
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36453) - you deserved it (5518)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:01pm - misc - by OMGWTF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML

#4483949
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38707) - you deserved it (3785)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by ForeverEmbarrassed (woman) - United States (California)



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