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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML

#6686658
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8257) - you deserved it (29197)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by HarryBeast (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received my camera in the mail. I had sent it back to the company because it wouldn't turn on. As I was reading the note they put in, it said, "Battery was put in backwards. No other problems found." FML

#6680274
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6073) - you deserved it (42947)

On 12/09/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by her0x3her0ine617 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML

#6676625
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10182) - you deserved it (15374)

On 12/09/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Violated (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

#6676147
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43426) - you deserved it (2676)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML

#6674667
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23275) - you deserved it (4728)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:29am - misc - by notalcoholic (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I got stuck in the snow in the middle of street. As I was just beginning to get myself unstuck, the snow plow came by and buried the front end of my car. FML

#6671880
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23902) - you deserved it (1820)

On 12/08/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by HoHoSnow (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

#6668848
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (3308)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML

#6665762
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43969) - you deserved it (2282)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after the firetruck and EMS came to my house for an emergency, I realized that not all firefighters looked like the ones in my calendar. This depressed me more than the emergency. FML

#6663069
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6084) - you deserved it (37552)

On 12/08/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by sad (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML

#6660964
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15704) - you deserved it (43952)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)

Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML

#6655423
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9150) - you deserved it (25951)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by skating101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, our midterm exams were returned in my urban politics class. I had studied hard and scored 86%. The blonde girl next to me got a 92. Earlier in the semester she had asked me what state Detroit was in. FML

#6652646
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28967) - you deserved it (8214)

On 12/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Postdotfuzz (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my tire was a little low on air. I decided to put in a can of Fix-A-Flat and drive home. Since it was 10 degrees outside and snowing, the can became frozen to the valve. When I finally got the can off, I had ruined the valve, so I had to put on the spare tire. It was flat too. FML

#6651992
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24451) - you deserved it (5317)

On 12/07/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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