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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML

#21221083
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44446) - you deserved it (4382)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

#21220823
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37302) - you deserved it (3542)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:55am - misc - by birthday girl - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42815) - you deserved it (7972)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML

#21220439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45714) - you deserved it (3720)

On 07/25/2014 at 4:19pm - misc - by asshalf15 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

#21220355
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45558) - you deserved it (3427)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm - misc - by notadoorman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50311) - you deserved it (4700)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41522) - you deserved it (21373)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-girlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML

#21218491
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38110) - you deserved it (2747)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:57pm - misc - by Rosey (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51793) - you deserved it (4341)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35108) - you deserved it (11488)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39668) - you deserved it (3343)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML

#21217252
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43611) - you deserved it (3587)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by d4rkxf0x - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39980) - you deserved it (4862)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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