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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my older brother called me ugly, and so I used the classic comeback ''It's not nice to talk about yourself like that." He responded by cutting the strings to my violin. FML

#21507848
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22496) - you deserved it (2661)

On 12/25/2015 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my brother "pranked" me by dropping my new laptop out my bedroom window. He'd set up a saran wrap safety net below to catch my laptop safely, but he didn't secure it well enough. My laptop is completely fucked and he won't accept responsibility because he didn't mean to break it. FML

#21507692
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26154) - you deserved it (1403)

On 12/25/2015 at 1:32pm - misc - by probably on death row soon (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried dying my hair blonde. I put my hair in a bun and waited for it to dye. I guess I did something wrong, because my hair is now 4 different shades of blonde/orange, along with patches of my natural black hair. FML

#21507650
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15905) - you deserved it (11027)

On 12/25/2015 at 11:00am - misc - by shitberries (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML

#21507528
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22677) - you deserved it (1590)

On 12/25/2015 at 1:28am - misc - by imahater07 -

Today, I spent the holiday with my husband's big family. They suggested we take a family picture, but two people were purposely left out of it. I was one of them. FML

#21507511
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20703) - you deserved it (1533)

On 12/25/2015 at 12:51am - misc - by leftout - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I were going to my grandparents' for Christmas. As my car was totaled recently, I had to get a ride with them. They left without me in the time it took to put my shoes and socks on. FML

Today, I was taking my grandma shopping, when she pointed at a pair of thongs and told me if I don’t start wearing them I won’t get a man. I've been married for 4 years, gran. Thanks for paying attention. FML

#21507374
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19462) - you deserved it (1457)

On 12/24/2015 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom decided that my hair was too long and that she was going to cut it. I now look like a male extra from Xanadu. FML

Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML

#21506859
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (1701)

On 12/23/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I went to see Star Wars with my brother. The entire time he talked about how scientifically inaccurate and improbable the entire movie was. FML

#21506772
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21035) - you deserved it (2830)

On 12/23/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by sister of an angry nerd -

Today, I took a coach bus to travel to New York. Along the way, the bus stopped at Burger King and I went out to buy some food. When I got back, I couldn't find the bus. It left without me. FML

#21506719
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20341) - you deserved it (3164)

On 12/22/2015 at 10:44pm - misc - by natalie_sarantos (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in class and I smelled what I thought was month-old trash coming from a student in front of me. I politely ignored the smell, only to realize a few hours later that the persistent smell wasn't coming from every student in my university, but was from my shoes. FML

#21506480
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18914) - you deserved it (7884)

On 12/22/2015 at 4:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friends and I were going to Applebee's. A girl we don't like invited herself along. She waited for my friend outside of the bathroom, forced her to drive her, and said, "It's okay someone will pay for me." She then ate off of everyone's plate and left before the bill came. FML

#21506364
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21345) - you deserved it (3512)

On 12/21/2015 at 9:42pm - misc - by RUFckingSrs (woman) - United States (California)



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