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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

#21142867
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46183) - you deserved it (8683)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm - misc - by creepyyy (woman) - United States

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4am. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

#21142655
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42625) - you deserved it (3863)

On 05/17/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by frustrated - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

#21142253
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38493) - you deserved it (12678)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML

#21142181
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34422) - you deserved it (14156)

On 05/16/2014 at 7:20pm - misc - by Female Struggles (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I helped an elderly woman push her grocery cart around the store, and look for her vehicle after she'd paid. After we spent ages wandering around trying to find her car, she remembered that she'd taken the bus today. FML

#21141882
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38793) - you deserved it (3441)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36533) - you deserved it (8021)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

#21141244
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38385) - you deserved it (16174)

On 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by NickJJ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

#21140332
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66605) - you deserved it (4921)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by livingamongtheflowers - United States

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

#21139874
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38870) - you deserved it (3098)

On 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm - misc - by chellegbelle - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

#21139580
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53066) - you deserved it (6169)

On 05/14/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45926) - you deserved it (5982)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50247) - you deserved it (4566)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

#21137290
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47554) - you deserved it (3974)

On 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Gone With the Wind - United States (Nebraska)



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