Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38637) - you deserved it (4523)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

#20601828
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37702) - you deserved it (6087)

On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40474) - you deserved it (2320)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

#20600031
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32646) - you deserved it (3325)

On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML

#20599573
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40194) - you deserved it (8691)

On 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by pantydropper (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

#20597356
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41838) - you deserved it (7832)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by S. Fancyson - United States

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35713) - you deserved it (4943)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at the park unsuccessfully trying to take a selfie. A stranger walked up to me and offered to take the picture for me. I agreed and gave him my phone. He took it and ran off. FML

#20595412
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (48692)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by no selfie for me - United States (California)

Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML

#20594384
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36207) - you deserved it (2138)

On 04/15/2013 at 6:11pm - misc - by MyLifeSucks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

#20593993
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36995) - you deserved it (9991)

On 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Kutakito (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34708) - you deserved it (7256)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: