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Man or woman?

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

#21407716
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28055) - you deserved it (7008)

On 05/10/2015 at 10:34am - misc - by pissed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my drunken feminazi mother shouted to me at the top of her lungs, "All men are fucking assholes, and your new husband is no different!" during our wedding reception. All he did was ask her how she liked the salmon. FML

#21407591
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30250) - you deserved it (2630)

On 05/10/2015 at 2:00am - misc - by How's the salmon? - United States

Today, I sent a $120 bouquet of flowers for mother's day. When I called tonight see if my Mom got them, she replied that they were still on the doorstep because she "didn't want the dogs to get excited and start barking" when she opened the front door to bring them in. FML

#21407465
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (2058)

On 05/09/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by yapDogs (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

#21407351
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28016) - you deserved it (2076)

On 05/09/2015 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding at the last moment, because her neurotic sister thinks she's "too fat" to be the maid of honor, and says she needs several months to lose weight. So that's a few thousand dollars wasted. My fiancée says I'm "overreacting" and that I "just don't get it". FML

#21407311
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33458) - you deserved it (2729)

On 05/09/2015 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, on my first driving lesson, I crashed my instructor's car. I didn't even make it out of the parking lot. FML

#21407296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23527) - you deserved it (9739)

On 05/09/2015 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the airport a full three hours before my flight departure time just to be on the safe side. I ended up having the best nap of my life and missing my flight. FML

#21407249
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28265) - you deserved it (9255)

On 05/09/2015 at 1:13pm - misc - by Rar (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML

#21407053
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27519) - you deserved it (1800)

On 05/09/2015 at 12:10am - misc - by sarahmaxine - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML

#21406781
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (3722)

On 05/08/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by McWhopper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

#21406695
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13492) - you deserved it (35310)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (2792)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML

#21406668
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27509) - you deserved it (1815)

On 05/08/2015 at 8:46am - misc - by MedChew (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)



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