Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29550) - you deserved it (3077)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (2517)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37766) - you deserved it (4510)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25929) - you deserved it (2358)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

#21364892
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27997) - you deserved it (3062)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30077) - you deserved it (2255)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29099) - you deserved it (2509)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

#21364630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (2658)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by boyishgirl - United States (Alaska)

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32) - you deserved it (2420)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
160 comments

Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

#21364157
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30091) - you deserved it (2471)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

#21364034
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26887) - you deserved it (12540)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML



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