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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

#21260159
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27176) - you deserved it (6675)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by iAmJasper - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31985) - you deserved it (9641)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34811) - you deserved it (2317)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a conversation with a girl I don't normally talk to. She ended up saying I'm "not as annoying as everyone says." and "Oh... you didn't know?" FML

#21259544
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28418) - you deserved it (2580)

On 09/16/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33388) - you deserved it (7389)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

#21258936
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29564) - you deserved it (5699)

On 09/15/2014 at 6:19pm - misc - by lucas_urev - United States (New York)

Today, I was checking out of a hotel when I saw some complementary mints. They weren't mints. They were glass beads. FML

Today, I was going to put some Italian dressing on my salad when I noticed that the oil and vinegar weren't mixed. After putting the cap back on, I shook as hard as I could. The cap came flying off and I showered myself in the dressing. FML

#21258902
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24925) - you deserved it (7586)

On 09/15/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by imamess (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
76 comments

Today, after politely reminding my husband to turn the bathroom light off after he's done, he did so. While I was on the toilet. FML

#21258522
55 comments

Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML

#21258099
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39058) - you deserved it (6242)

On 09/14/2014 at 2:47pm - misc - by HiImAlfredo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38830) - you deserved it (4315)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

#21257414
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34523) - you deserved it (3101)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:36am - misc - by Jamestown of Vagina (man) - United States (Texas)



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