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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

#20679773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27720) - you deserved it (9469)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

#20679441
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33063) - you deserved it (2068)

On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31331) - you deserved it (2473)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

#20679356
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30224) - you deserved it (2598)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32826) - you deserved it (2404)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32794) - you deserved it (1836)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36996) - you deserved it (5354)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

#20677848
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40284) - you deserved it (3821)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by mammasboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on my way to an important interview, I was stopped and ticketed for speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed up, I was told they forgot to call and let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21792) - you deserved it (31877)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

#20677338
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35293) - you deserved it (2415)

On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

#20677224
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28480) - you deserved it (2259)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

#20676306
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33555) - you deserved it (2058)

On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)



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