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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my classmate said I looked better without makeup. Well, her exact words were, "You look like less of a whore without makeup." FML

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30284) - you deserved it (2328)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML

#21317606
130 comments

Today, my wife and I are about to move across the country when the landlord for our new house called and said a water line busted and flooded the house. The movers are coming tomorrow. FML

#21317549
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26187) - you deserved it (1680)

On 12/14/2014 at 9:07pm - misc - by BFons - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been months since I dropped out of college to escape constantly being bullied and being miserable. Ever since then, I've been having recurring nightmares with the same people bullying me, after which I wake up crying and feeling miserable. My brain is a douchebag. FML

#21317204
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (4059)

On 12/14/2014 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was informed that my uneven facial features make me seem "untrustworthy." Glad to know my unchangeable physical appearance doubles as a character flaw. FML

#21317152
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28005) - you deserved it (2188)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:56am - misc - by lopsided (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

#21317146
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15380) - you deserved it (23673)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32875) - you deserved it (4195)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

#21317090
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27962) - you deserved it (2515)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by konacoffee17 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30637) - you deserved it (2501)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

#21316969
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (3639)

On 12/13/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29249) - you deserved it (2738)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I came home to find out my roommate sold my PS4, because, "You don't use it anymore." FML

#21316533
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31417) - you deserved it (2300)

On 12/13/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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