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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I discovered that when my mom can't sleep, she comes into my room and reads my text messages. FML

Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML

#21382495
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10634) - you deserved it (35271)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

#21382482
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25598) - you deserved it (4054)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:09pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24185) - you deserved it (15142)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML

#21382322
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25159) - you deserved it (3462)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:12am - misc - by struckbystarzz (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I stopped by my local bar to maybe meet some new people. I sat in between two groups. Within a minute both groups got up and left. FML

Today, some well-meaning soul told me to just pray my depression away, which would be about as effective as praying away a knife in my shin. FML

#21382206
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22659) - you deserved it (3230)

On 03/27/2015 at 1:31am - misc - by an anon - United States (California)

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

#21382179
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21517) - you deserved it (8536)

On 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm - misc - by comfort_ - United States (Georgia)

Today, after days of looking for it, I finally found the ring my boyfriend gave to me. It was on my roommate's finger. FML

#21381743
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31003) - you deserved it (2343)

On 03/26/2015 at 6:16am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

#21381199
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (3186)

On 03/25/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by peele - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML

#21380708
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27186) - you deserved it (3420)

On 03/24/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by faaail - Ireland (Cork)

Today, an old lady was walking behind me. She tripped and started to fall, so naturally I turned and outstretched my arms to catch her, but was too late. A man turned just in time to see an old lady on the ground with me with my arms stretched out. I now have a black eye. FML

#21380543
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29866) - you deserved it (2177)

On 03/24/2015 at 2:58am - misc - by why me - United States (Georgia)

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

#21380370
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25508) - you deserved it (13367)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by Li - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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