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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58690) - you deserved it (21124)
On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55312) - you deserved it (15607)
On 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by squirty_joe (woman) - United States
Today, I was sitting on my 70 year old grandmothers bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen it started vibrating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19173) - you deserved it (54526)
On 03/07/2009 at 2:35am - intimacy - by You Wish (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47136) - you deserved it (11847)
On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97) - you deserved it (7822)
On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71464) - you deserved it (16797)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (61849) - you deserved it (15470)
On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80509) - you deserved it (5445)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20315) - you deserved it (48478)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40587) - you deserved it (6413)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34631) - you deserved it (8921)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by skipper - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9909) - you deserved it (35737)
On 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8719) - you deserved it (34422)
On 02/06/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28112) - you deserved it (5641)
On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was woken out of my drunken state by a guy trying to stick his penis in my mouth. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23248) - you deserved it (4246)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Friday 24 May 2013
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