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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response: "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML

#4982
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14230) - you deserved it (24635)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by beckbr - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card saying "You made it to 36!". It's my 35th birthday. FML

#4884
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26051) - you deserved it (1925)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by Chakkamofo - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

#4745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33191) - you deserved it (9229)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm - love - by someonevexed - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

#4600
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (3306)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:40am - love - by JLoRd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (9827)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to go to a car show. I told him to hold on, I had to ask my mom. I quietly asked her to say no for me. She said "Sure!". FML

#4294
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7292) - you deserved it (30776)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:25pm - love - by oicwydt - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26937) - you deserved it (5098)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, a boy I'm not even dating took it upon himself to tell me that we would never work out. Via text message. FML

#4103
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23513) - you deserved it (1984)

On 01/31/2009 at 11:52am - love - by wowza - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML

#4066
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20021) - you deserved it (7361)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:30am - love - by kill me - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

#3992
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6237) - you deserved it (78988)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:48am - love - by jeesh - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him around two minutes after that, and he had already fallen asleep. FML

#3910
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7185) - you deserved it (28343)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:57pm - love - by grreeatttt - United States (California)

Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle says: "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my match maker is my uncle. FML

#3846
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25369) - you deserved it (2631)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:08pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

#3770
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (5792)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)



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