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Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

#1285510
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8268) - you deserved it (54361)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:24am - love - by jason (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML

#1283810
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59770) - you deserved it (3146)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:18am - love - by sad (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

#1268284
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16564) - you deserved it (48064)

On 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from a two-week overseas business trip. My wife was at work, but she came home for lunch. When she came in, she brushed right past me to hug and talk to her dog. When I mentioned it, she said, "But I haven't seen him all day!" FML

#1252087
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56281) - you deserved it (3496)

On 04/23/2009 at 10:09am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent my boyfriend of three and a half years a text message spilling my heart out, saying I'll love him forever, and how much I appreciate him in my life, that I want to be the mother of his children, etc. His text back to me? "Are you drunk?!?" FML

#1251660
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23441) - you deserved it (51230)

On 04/23/2009 at 9:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he needed to reconsider coming to see me for financial reasons. I'm the one paying for the airfare, giving him a place to stay, and covering his expenses while he's here. FML

#1249687
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48763) - you deserved it (6003)

On 04/23/2009 at 4:54am - love - by Kitty (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her "that guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, thats my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said "EW." FML

#1242377
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49660) - you deserved it (6818)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:58pm - love - by uglyswimmer (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as soon as I got home, my girlfriend was waiting for me at the door. She told me she was breaking up with me, the reason? She found a girl's shirt in my closet and that she didn't need a cheating boyfriend. That shirt was mine. FML

#1226975
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50289) - you deserved it (9167)

On 04/22/2009 at 4:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML

#1224037
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49189) - you deserved it (5027)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by tripb101 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend stopped making out with me to watch a thirty minute infomercial on the Topsy-Turvy upside down tomato planter. FML

#1221446
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51237) - you deserved it (6119)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:02pm - love - by T-Pain (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then made out, and slept with, my 'best friend' whom she had never met before. FML

#1218026
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65528) - you deserved it (4539)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Bo (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML

#1213141
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51698) - you deserved it (8264)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:09am - love - by misterhippo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML

#1212600
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12581) - you deserved it (132368)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:24pm - love - by kellym (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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