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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy-friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML

#4453766
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49151) - you deserved it (8073)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:13pm - love - by denied (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

#4443925
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46187) - you deserved it (21106)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking with my friend-turned boyfriend and cutely told him that I could no longer remember all the things that he used to do that bothered me. He told me he could remember every one of mine and listed them all off for me. FML

#4441693
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16782) - you deserved it (36940)

On 08/11/2009 at 1:01am - love - by thanksjerk (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home early from business trip in Paris, I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of 2 years out and propose to her. I sneak into my house as a surprise and she's having it off with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML

#4431065
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56250) - you deserved it (3579)

On 08/10/2009 at 4:47pm - love - by theboy6494 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend and I were arguing over whose boyfriend was better. Just as I was about to convince her, my boyfriend rang. Trying to start the perfect conversation, I put him on speaker phone and answered "Hey Tiger, I was just thinking about you". He broke up with me on speaker. FML

#4430564
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45496) - you deserved it (14452)

On 08/10/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML

#4426507
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63159) - you deserved it (8343)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML

#4420726
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15040) - you deserved it (52525)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:12am - love - by HouseMdFangirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my girlfriend with an older guy who I thought was her dad, I went over to introduce myself. And then turned around and walked away very fast as I saw them make out. My girlfriend is cheating on me with someone as old as my dad. FML

#4412147
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50356) - you deserved it (2647)

On 08/09/2009 at 7:11pm - love - by roobb (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out with my ex-boyfriend on a date. The night consisted of me sitting in the back seat of his friend's truck while they drove around to pick up things for the party they were going to have that same night. After they picked everything up, he asked where I wanted to get dropped off. FML

#4410211
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35565) - you deserved it (24860)

On 08/09/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by whatever (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML

#4405336
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94551) - you deserved it (7819)

On 08/09/2009 at 9:48am - love - by gtrs750 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML

#4405208
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59501) - you deserved it (3355)

On 08/09/2009 at 9:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

#4404906
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10250) - you deserved it (57172)

On 08/09/2009 at 8:43am - love - by hugedissapointment (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I flew my girlfriend to Paris for our one year anniversary. Little did I know that instead of going up the Eiffel Tower and over looking the most romantic city she would rather spend it in bed with a French man. FML

#4380859
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51633) - you deserved it (4380)

On 08/08/2009 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bolton)



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