Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30523) - you deserved it (3673)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, my daughter learned how to write her name correctly for the first time. Only thing is, she decided to practise writing it all over my body with a sharpie while I was sleeping. Works starts in 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (3151)
On 10/02/2009 at 9:39am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (2767)
On 09/30/2009 at 1:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36567) - you deserved it (2261)
On 09/28/2009 at 11:13am - kids - by justgreat (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my sister bought my five year old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28029) - you deserved it (852)
On 09/26/2009 at 4:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while brushing my teeth my 5 year old son walks into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I have been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28770) - you deserved it (5892)
On 09/25/2009 at 11:01am - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13443) - you deserved it (30080)
On 09/23/2009 at 6:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, my husband decided it was time to tell me he had a 3 year old son. We have been married for 5 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43068) - you deserved it (2022)
On 09/21/2009 at 5:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (2446)
On 09/20/2009 at 1:01am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30293) - you deserved it (6159)
On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34951) - you deserved it (3306)
On 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (4743)
On 09/18/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by ben (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30432) - you deserved it (3571)
On 09/17/2009 at 7:58pm - kids - by Sadmom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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