Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27880) - you deserved it (2942)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

#19592995
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26679) - you deserved it (4754)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML

#19590770
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22962) - you deserved it (5806)

On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

#19587881
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24647) - you deserved it (2331)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm - kids - by lon01t (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38150) - you deserved it (2487) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

#19567483
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22396) - you deserved it (5576)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

#19555079
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19102) - you deserved it (3738)

On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

#19551468
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21567) - you deserved it (2136)

On 04/30/2012 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

#19536955
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (2289)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML

#19530621
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26182) - you deserved it (2459)

On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (8239)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I finally found the jewelry my two-year-old son had lost when it got lodged in my foot. FML

#19526699
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19126) - you deserved it (2431)

On 04/25/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25713) - you deserved it (3048)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States



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