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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

#19286997
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9497) - you deserved it (20599)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

#19247694
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8507) - you deserved it (35924)

On 03/09/2012 at 8:56pm - kids - by mikey51 (man) - Australia

Today, my 8-year-old niece corrected my spelling via text message. FML

#19227628
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7439) - you deserved it (31683)

On 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

#19201046
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (4069)

On 03/02/2012 at 3:30am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

#19190848
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36477) - you deserved it (2062)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I gave my little brother my iPhone so he could play a game. I soon forgot about it, and when I got it back two hours later, there was pudding and a couple of big cracks in it. FML

#19166508
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15486) - you deserved it (28479)

On 02/26/2012 at 8:53am - kids - by unknown - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

#19164733
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32794) - you deserved it (3049)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the money my husband and I gave to my son for university courses, has instead been spent on pole dancing lessons. FML

#19160986
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25097) - you deserved it (3296)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:40pm - kids - by jj159 (woman) - United States

Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML

#19152626
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26558) - you deserved it (3084)

On 02/24/2012 at 8:26am - kids - by Joanne (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

#19142654
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32160) - you deserved it (2684)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - kids - by crzyry (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML

#19112192
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22669) - you deserved it (2654)

On 02/19/2012 at 12:49am - kids - by CamoElla - United States

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21745) - you deserved it (5310)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

#19099040
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (5208)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:43am - kids - by thatoneperson - United States (Virginia)



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