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Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

#20977509
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42805) - you deserved it (5353)

On 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm - kids - by no she wasn't high - United States (Texas)

Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

#20977212
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39302) - you deserved it (3802)

On 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44850) - you deserved it (4726)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41705) - you deserved it (2862)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42455) - you deserved it (12808)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

#20967131
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38370) - you deserved it (5382)

On 11/22/2013 at 6:14pm - kids - by houdinette (woman) - Sweden (Ostergotlands Lan)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44474) - you deserved it (3333)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37249) - you deserved it (3247)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47406) - you deserved it (4107)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

#20960450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41406) - you deserved it (10580)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

#20959118
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44629) - you deserved it (4305)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML



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