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Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year old boy asked me "What do you do when you really want something?". I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best. He ended up stealing from the donation box and when he was caught he said that I told him to do it. FML

#1086361
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48280) - you deserved it (5656)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:51pm - kids - by ZAS (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in the supermarket and I see this little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I go over to him and ask if his mom knows where he is. The boy turns around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML

#1054716
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28573) - you deserved it (51817)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by jules (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

#965194
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85529) - you deserved it (8442)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML

#956665
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30565) - you deserved it (63262)

On 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by grem (woman) - United States

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

#953150
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59917) - you deserved it (4534)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my two year old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML

#940357
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36549) - you deserved it (23122)

On 04/12/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my ten year old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore I am an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML

#921168
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61644) - you deserved it (11312)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:44am - kids - by cxcrktkt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally bought the toy my two year old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I give him the present, and he starts playing with the bag. FML

#907158
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39847) - you deserved it (8911)

On 04/10/2009 at 8:37pm - kids - by Bob (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting a five year old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML

#904176
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60234) - you deserved it (5557)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:07pm - kids - by boyfriendless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

#900029
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66000) - you deserved it (2996)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to watch my neighbor's daughter for 10 hours. She wouldn't eat anything I had to offer, so I ordered a pizza for $19 + a $5 tip = $24. Her father came by to pick her up, thanked me, and gave me a $20 bill. I effectively just paid to watch his kid. FML

#889359
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51691) - you deserved it (17397)

On 04/09/2009 at 5:51pm - kids - by Liz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over I walked around cleaning up the trash, when I saw a card sitting on the table with a note to my mom saying "better luck with this one." At the moment I am an only child, and the card was signed from my grandmother. FML

#889248
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68663) - you deserved it (3675)

On 04/09/2009 at 5:44pm - kids - by Tim (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML

#880464
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42707) - you deserved it (35675)

On 04/09/2009 at 12:53am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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