Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (3372)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

#7946141
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10749) - you deserved it (21776)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Sully (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I started a new job, it was going well until I was asked to stand up and be introduced to a company director. I had a hard on. FML

#7928576
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19395) - you deserved it (5610)

On 02/06/2010 at 4:29am - intimacy - by Bacular (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

#7923613
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21841) - you deserved it (5613)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Isabell (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML

#7906309
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34348) - you deserved it (2666)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:01pm - intimacy - by michelle - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML

#7904015
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27792) - you deserved it (2304)

On 02/05/2010 at 11:29am - intimacy - by donkeyd - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

#7897076
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9338) - you deserved it (30190)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

#7883509
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23301) - you deserved it (12969)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cyber sex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML

#7873279
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8583) - you deserved it (31310)

On 02/04/2010 at 9:51am - intimacy - by erin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

#7811688
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36117) - you deserved it (2948)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

#7771404
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19711) - you deserved it (2514)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:31am - intimacy - by ocroyalty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

#7753113
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20948) - you deserved it (3673)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

#7728542
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23942) - you deserved it (2996)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Me - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: