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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML

#3137547
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39595) - you deserved it (4558)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:16am - health - by usmcpain (man) - United States

Today, I discovered that the hearing in my left ear is still good. I haven't been able to hear that well out of it for 2 weeks and I thought I popped an eardrum and waited for it to heal. I stuck a Q-Tip in there to clean it out. Turns out there was actually a dead fly in my ear. For 2 weeks. FML

#3130305
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53061) - you deserved it (10026)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:13pm - health - by JK710 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML

#3109891
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44146) - you deserved it (8495)

On 06/22/2009 at 1:43am - health - by badeats (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML

#3096413
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61535) - you deserved it (3514)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by oldtimerclark - United States (Georgia)

Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

#3050624
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48459) - you deserved it (2531)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:28am - health - by sleepless (man) - United States (California)

Today, the weather was nice so I decided to eat outside. I quickly found out that my new, expensive hair conditioner attracts bees. Lots of bees. FML

#3017474
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41841) - you deserved it (6202)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by Stung (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML

#3006187
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45261) - you deserved it (7747)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:07pm - health - by asthmatic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

#2984758
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9539) - you deserved it (39204)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:31am - health - by ihpgolj (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML

#2963947
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28793) - you deserved it (6002)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:12am - health - by Broken (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom accused me of having an eating disorder, and I didn't correct her. Truth is, I lost weight after I went off the pill a year ago. I'm too embarrassed to tell my mom that I haven't had anyone in a year. FML

#2898294
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35580) - you deserved it (6728)

On 06/14/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by LP (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I am now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML

#2880458
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40284) - you deserved it (2827)

On 06/14/2009 at 7:08am - health - by MalariaFree (woman) - Uganda (Kampala)

Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning and thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML

#2867945
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54040) - you deserved it (8135)

On 06/13/2009 at 8:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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