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Man or woman?

Today, I discovered in my house a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer except me. FML

#9673
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26629) - you deserved it (7348)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Tori (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML

#9160
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33439) - you deserved it (5011)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:05am - health - by makinascene (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML

#8356
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10966) - you deserved it (41470)

On 02/04/2009 at 4:05pm - health - by BritneyFink (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

#7876
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16199) - you deserved it (31283)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:44am - health - by Harejordan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML

#5942
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21640) - you deserved it (16864)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:48am - health - by mrb72 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I talked to my boss about the fact that I have been diagnosed as bipolar and I am having a really hard time with it. He told me to look on the bright side, now that I'm crazy I will never have to do Jury Duty. FML

#4725
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24129) - you deserved it (3425)

On 02/01/2009 at 1:08pm - health - by crazymuch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the dentist had to give me a lot of novacaine because my mouth wasn't becoming numb. After the 4th time the entire right side of my mouth was numb, except for the 2 teeth getting worked on. FML

#3757
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25314) - you deserved it (1390)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:05pm - health - by ihateeverything - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23937) - you deserved it (2999)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, all three of my meals consisted of 2 hot pockets. FML

#3146
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8918) - you deserved it (23131)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)

Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML

#2743
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17734) - you deserved it (1684)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:18pm - health - by ouch - United States (Washington)

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

#2729
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46036) - you deserved it (2322)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)

Today, a couple of mates and me have a reservation on this fancy restaurant to celebrate Chinese New Year. I found out that 80% of our money goes to the wine tasting event that they have, a free flow of gorgeous, decent wine all around. I'm allergic to fruit. I'll stick to my 20RMB water bottle. FML

#2482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15902) - you deserved it (2616)

On 01/24/2009 at 8:36pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

#2444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30886) - you deserved it (2249)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm - health - by Damm - United States (New York)



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