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Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

#2729
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42670) - you deserved it (2041)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)

Today, a couple of mates and me have a reservation on this fancy restaurant to celebrate Chinese New Year. I found out that 80% of our money goes to the wine tasting event that they have, a free flow of gorgeous, decent wine all around. I'm allergic to fruit. I'll stick to my 20RMB water bottle. FML

#2482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13310) - you deserved it (2264)

On 01/24/2009 at 8:36pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

#2444
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27011) - you deserved it (1932)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm - health - by Damm - United States (New York)

Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML

#2279
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16308) - you deserved it (3938)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:24am - health - by cyantist - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML

#2174
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15110) - you deserved it (2405)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:22am - health - by radiant - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML

#1959
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21842) - you deserved it (1777)

On 01/20/2009 at 8:08pm - health - by sore - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML

#1689
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16723) - you deserved it (2200)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by spoony - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML

#1459
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4921) - you deserved it (32523)

On 01/17/2009 at 1:41pm - health - by zaneey - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

#1305
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (5405)

On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML

#1229
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13392) - you deserved it (2139)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:00am - health - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML

#1198
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8855) - you deserved it (12235)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:43am - health - by Mr. Shawzy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a woman at the crowded mall stopped me and told me loudly that if I bought her product it would get rid of my acne. FML

#974
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16183) - you deserved it (1573)

On 01/11/2009 at 3:59pm - health - by EpicFail - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17750) - you deserved it (3177)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)



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