We've made it! FML is six years old! We can't really say that we are ageing gracefully, but what sort of six-year-old behaves gracefully. Not us, that's for sure. So, what the eff' happened in 2014? You sent us 313144 FMLs down the pipeline, and we published only 3014. That's not a huge percentage, but that's because we prefer quality over a shitton of garbage. You agreed that the OP's life sucked 206691661 times, and that they deserved it 55080599 times. Wow. 467544 badges were given out, and you gave each other 39905 likes. You guys are kinda cute. Well, except for you over there. You know who you are.
DIDIER SIX, GOALKEEPER FOR FRANCE, 1978
FML BIRTHDAY MASCOT, 2015
The FML team is proud to have made is this far. Who would've thought, one cold, crisp day in January 2009 that we would still be here in 2015, sending out spurts of people's everyday failures and crushed hopes and dreams, making your bus journeys less boring, and letting others giggle while reading your suffering-slash-FMLs. FML is like a big family, albeit a bit of a weird looking family of 3.1 million people, but a family nonetheless. You just have to check out the comments, our Facebook page and Instagram to realise that a bit of a community has developed around the initial little website, and it's what we're the most proud of. That and our Backstreet Boys autographs collection. So, instead of making it all about us and showing off like big show offs, we thought we'd make it all about the people who make FML what it is: you guys.
FML: better than Sixpence None The Richer
To do so, we contacted a few FML members to help us out. These people have been hanging around here for quite some time, and who take part in the comments with great passion, gusto and a bunch of other adjectives. The members who were willing to take part in this crazy adventure are:
Fightingkittens. Name came from actual fighting kittens. Account created on 04/11/2010 and 242 comments.
DocBastard. A real doctor. Master of the putdown. Account created on 05/07/2010 and 9007 comments.
Pleonasm. All round nice guy. Account created on 04/11/2010 and 2185 comments.
DanielleinDC. Doesn't comment often, but with style. Account created on 08/09/2011 and 1303 comments.
fleur_de_fevrier. Is both on FML and VDM, the French version. Account created on 21/06/2012 and 1067 comments.
Wizardo. Not a real Wizard. Account created on 31/12/2012 and 1159 comments.
skyeyez9. Grumpy, but OK. Account created on 23/041/2010 and 4210 comments.
Hiimhaileypotter. A real Harry Potter fan, honest. Account created on 04/06/2012 and 1747 comments.
Mauskau. Probably Russian. Account created on 08/08/2009 and 1583 comments.
So, how did these guys end up in our neck of the woods?
DocBastard (who is a real doctor) started the way everyone should, by checking things out before giving it a go: "I started by lurking, reading others' comments and deciding which type I liked and which I didn't. I really started commenting mainly due to intelligent and/or funny commenters like Pendatik and Cinn. I have submitted one FML, and it was published."
So did Pleonasm: "There was this atmosphere that promoted interaction and making jokes with and at one another or even at the original poster. So after a while, I couldn't help but join the fray and help laugh at other people's expense, because I'm nice like that." We wish more people were nice in the comments some times.
Most of them have a different relationship with FML, and no doubt that you have too. Depending on the user, it's either a time to relax, something to pass the time while taking a dump, and it can take place anytime, anywhere (well, maybe not the dump) thanks to smartphones.
DanielleinDC wastes the company dime by using FML, "usually in the morning when it's quiet at work."
Wizardo is a bit of an addict: "I check FML in the morning as I wake with one eye open and me hating this thing called the morning, and again in the night to see what kind of misguided or unfortunately screwed up event has happened in the day of a stranger that I am glad isn't me."
So is Hiimhaileypotter: "I check FML several times daily at all hours, generally at night though."
Whatever the time of day, we're open 24/7.
We asked them what they enjoyed the most about the comments section, and the response was a bit of a mixed bag. It appears that what they enjoy about the comments is also what they also hate them, there's a bit of a love/hate thing going on.
Pleonasm does have this to say: "The comments section is like a box of chocolates: There's always get one that looks like it's going to be chocolate, but then it turns out to be a piece of faecal matter instead, or something worse like a cherry or orange filling. Don't even get me started on marzipan. Food aside, I enjoy most of the comments section: you get a lot of types of humours that mix well and people play off of each other and it's fun to see the interaction - it's also good to see people help each other out or be civil."
But for most, they seem to enjoy being annoyed by the lazy comments, Pleonasm adds, "There is a special place in hell for those who say « shitty situation » or who abuse the dual meaning of pussy on a cat FML."
Mauskau: "I vaguely remember someone saying something stupid and then they received a lot of people correcting them and explaining why they were wrong, and they kept digging themselves into a deeper hole. Comments that show sheer ignorance, or when someone says “break up with your partner” when they do something hilarious."
Pleonasm puts his finger on one particularly annoying trait: "Then you have the improbable optimists - my jimmies are rustled every time someone says "At least" in regards to OP, especially when it's followed by something that has almost no chance of happening or doesn't pertain to the FML at all." As moderators, we can only agree. But we have to remain impartial, even though I through in a troll comment every now and again.
Hey, I'm naughty, sue me!
FML is the sixth deadly sin
Does FML ever take over their real lives? We wanted to know if people on FML met in real life. We know they exchange PMs, but does it go any further?
Fightingkittens gets PMs: "Occasionally people message me about my profile pic (a 3-year-old gem featuring face paint from a Renaissance fair), but I've stopped commenting as frequently and rarely get messages. I don't correspond with people outside of FML - I really do prefer the anonymity of the Internet."
A sentiment that seems to be echoed a lot. A lot of people have even been insulted for no apparent reason.
fleur_de_fevrier: "One guy sent me once a big rant saying that I was a “ f***ing p***y” because I disagreed with the use of offensive violence in a situation of confrontation and blocked me before I could answer. That was actually pretty funny because he seemed genuinely upset."
DocBastard's… confrontational style has earned him some peeved PMs: "I have exchanged PMs and e-mail with numerous other FMLers, though I have not met any of them. I have gotten both fanmail and hate mail... probably more of the former. I used to get hate mail regularly back when I commented more. People don't seem to like being called "idiots" when they act like one. Funny, that." Word, dude.
Well OK, we do want to show off a bit because it's our birthday, so we asked our friends if they had a message to send the creators of FML.
Pleonasm said, "Thanks guys for the funny stories; the good, the bad and the ugly comments; the crying of laughter; the cringe and even the trolls. Have my eternal love for dooming me to a futureless present as I waste away my free time procrastinating and laughing at other people instead of studying or going outside.
Thank you for teaching me to learn from other people's mistakes while creating my own."
Wizardo: "Thanks for creating a haven for the rejected, downright silly and beautiful idiots to unite and share their stories of super racist old people, annoying as fuck kids and relationship problems. This is a unique corner of the Internet and I have been honoured to contribute to the majestic creation that is FML, may your hilarious yet slightly dysfunctional family continue to run as long as bad grammar exists and people keep commenting basic shit. <3"
That'll do, we're welling up.
For a giggle, we also wanted to know who would be named CEO of the comments section, if such a blatantly fake and ridiculous title ever existed (because it's for a laugh, before you start sending in your messages about it) and Doc Bastard's name is the one that was the most mentioned. It seems that being a real doctor and speaking some much needed sense actually gets you somewhere. Well done. We told him about this, and he issued this press release:
"Am I getting paid for this? I think I deserve to get paid. Wait, what do you mean, 'no'?"
In any case, well done on your fake promotion, dude. It's a huge opportunity for you, what with you being a lowly surgeon-type fella at the moment. See you in the comments!
It's presents time !
To thanks all the people who take part in the FML adventure by commenting on the stories and by being an active member with an account and everything, today, on this festive day, we're giving you a gift. If you are member, you know all about our badges, they're on your profile. For those of you who aren't members, badges are acquired by doing certain things on our website and our app. For our birthday, we've decided to add a few more as a gift. Wahey! Some are secret, some aren't, so here's a list of the new badges, and some clues about how to get the hidden ones.
Silver Badges :
- Gold Rush: Looking for gold on FML? How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?
- One more and it's business time: You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
Bronze Badges :
- I like your style: You've liked someone. How cute!
- The Mixer: You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
- What'cha looking at?: You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile
Here are a few clues to help you find the hidden badges:
- A military feline, a colonel with whiskers
- Children go looking for him, near the end of the year.
- A movie dream with Leonardo
- Who's flopped at the top?
There we go. Here at FML towers, we're going to go off to celebrate our birthday by eating tons of M&Ms while cackling like geese. Do geese cackle? We don't know. Before we do so, here's a word from another Six, Nikki Sixx from the fabulous Mötley Crüe:
Why, that almost sounds like something the haters from the comments section should think about before commenting something unhelpful or nasty about a person or a situation they know nothing about under an FML. Be excellent to each other, take heed to Sixx's words, and then go listen to the Crüe's "Kickstart My Heart". Thanks to all our friends for taking part, we love you all. Happy birthday to us all.
Now, it's party time! Byyyyyyye!