Intimacy: Yikes! - FML

Yikes!

By Anonymous - 31/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 242

You deserved it 7 246

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By nacho - 24/01/2012 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 073

You deserved it 4 330

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 336

You deserved it 1 886

By mydadsgonnakillme - 08/02/2013 07:13 - United States - Santa Barbara

Spicy

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 546

You deserved it 12 432

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 580

You deserved it 47 168

What a dick

By Anonymous - 03/11/2011 07:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 687

You deserved it 5 159

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 707

You deserved it 78 245

By anon - 16/03/2015 04:10 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 747

You deserved it 2 588

Welcome to hell

By Anonymous - 14/01/2021 15:01 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, after meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, I found out that he, his sister and their father enjoy talking loudly over the person who is currently talking, because what anyone else says is not worth listening to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 105

Love and threats

By soontobedumped - 15/01/2012 19:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 868

You deserved it 4 876

Thin walls

By xtilltheendx - 05/10/2020 20:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 1 381

Next

Top comments

InuYasha17 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 12:05

Awkward... o_o

Chunchunchun 3

Tuesday 31 August 2010 12:05

Need to chew your boyfriend out for that...

Comments

GrEaT_BaMbInO 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 14:02

haha.

imright24 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 14:07

Sounds like he's just trying to warn you that you're so loud he can hear you. Some vocalization is nice but the whole neighborhood doesn't need to know when you're having sex.

xohockeyfreak10x 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 14:23

awkward, and sketchy

sourgirl101 28

Tuesday 31 August 2010 14:57

Your boyfriend sounds like a bigmouth, disrespectful prick to share such personal information with anyone, especially his dad! The apple never falls far from the tree.

yolie_fml 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 16:12

I agree. And what a prick the dad is for putting her in that uncomfortable situation.

monro86 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 15:05

wow, what a perv. nice for him to meet a young girl and the first thing he says is about sex.

courtalex95 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 15:31

hahaaa, awkward......

tcmate 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 15:40

hahaha that's awesome.

Horrified86 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 15:46

Ask him if he wants to SEE you scream.

LadyTammyA 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 15:48

My question is - why were you even having sex with a guy that you didn't even know well enough to see that he is morally backwards? this is why people should wait a little longer, maybe even meet the family first. Just a thought.

PoeSlayer 0

Friday 22 July 2011 18:46

maybe her parents live in another country durr

DRush_fml 12

Tuesday 31 August 2010 15:50

He sounds nice...

UltimateCommente 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 16:08

NO

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Work Management Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Relatable Gifts Mother in law Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Love AITA Argument Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 025

You deserved it 5 457

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 167

You deserved it 2 953

The Top

Today, it’s my mom’s 65th birthday celebration. I have to share a room at the resort, table and car ride with my sister, who my ex-husband left me for and got pregnant. She tries to talk to me as if nothing ever happened, and my parents bitch me out for being upset at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 113

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 127

You deserved it 4 481

Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 065

You deserved it 4 990

Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 291

You deserved it 7 387

Today, I finally reached the age where me just being alive annoys my wife. She asked me during a movie if I “have to breathe like that because it’s so damn annoying.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 154

Today, I had to run a mile in gym class for fitness training. If it takes longer than 10 minutes to run the stretch, you have to re-take it. My time was 10:02. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 060

You deserved it 20 404