Sex, Awkward, Party and Intimacy: Work harder

Work harder

By zep - 07/06/2009 11:41 - United States

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 355

You deserved it 79 647

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Same thing different taste

By Lichelle - 10/03/2009 21:30 - United States

Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 107

You deserved it 72 706

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 151

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 124

You deserved it 46 968

By blah - 10/04/2009 10:17 - United States

Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 546

You deserved it 80 652

Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 3 247

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 957

You deserved it 8 928

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 083

You deserved it 40 654

Caught in 4K

By its_all_legit - 19/03/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 461

You deserved it 127 815

Self report

By banana12321 - 02/04/2015 04:40 - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 204

You deserved it 30 468

By homewrecker - 01/08/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 063

You deserved it 63 994

funsize003 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:14

how could you possibly have missed that little fact haha? didn't you check the rooms? this is hilarious though.

jj732 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:15

hahaha why wouldn't you check every room you dumbass.

Comments

nodbor 11

Monday 8 June 2009 8:41

did your parents ask them to remake the bed with fresh sheets?

24788 6

Monday 8 June 2009 9:42

Haha, probably should of checked if all the people were gone.

Sanrio90 8

Monday 8 June 2009 10:04

LOLOL, YDI but this is still hilarious.

some123 0

Monday 8 June 2009 12:10

I'm sorry but that's hilarious. And you know, that's Karma. You shouldn't have had a party while your parents were out if they didn't know,.

abrodyisHOTT 0

Monday 8 June 2009 15:30

wow, that sucks. frankly, you deserve it for not checking every room. i'm guessing your major hangover blinded your common sense!

summerdream 0

Monday 8 June 2009 15:48

you obviously dint clean their rm, YDI

brave_fml 0

Monday 8 June 2009 16:43

ROFL

Vehicle 1

Monday 8 June 2009 18:58

Don't people learn by now? If you don't want to get in trouble with your parents- then don't throw a damn party when they leave!

lolzforfun228 3

Monday 8 June 2009 22:25

They probably will just take pictures and throw them out.

AnalJustice 0

Monday 8 June 2009 23:27

very convincing. while you were cleaning the different rooms, you obviously didn't notice two naked bodies lying on the bed

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Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

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If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 4

Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job, and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said, "How would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 864

You deserved it 4 026

The Top

Today, I have quite a niche career forging swords, knives, and other weapons for museums. Well today my wife wanted to watch the anime Demon Slayer, we got to the scenes with the insane masked swordsmith, and she burst out laughing like, “Oh my god, you’re twins, grumpy twins!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 202

Today, I got a parking ticket for parking in my neighbors' parking spot. I parked there because my neighbors were parked in my parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 419

You deserved it 2 526

Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 238

You deserved it 28 468

Today, in the early hours of the morning, a worker started drilling the road right in front of my window. He stopped 5 minutes before my alarm clock rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 695

You deserved it 3 917

Today, I was walking into my school and I saw two girls kissing. Being a lesbian myself, and thinking it would be cute, I winked at them. I guess one of them had a history of cheating with a girl who looked just like me, because her girlfriend came up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 878

You deserved it 1 194

Today, my mom hit me in the face after an argument she didn't win. According to her, Mexican and American are languages, and not dialects or nationalities. She even argued with my teachers, and threatened to remove me "from a school full of uneducated people" after they told her I was correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 85