Intimacy: Turn off - FML

Turn off

By whatdoesitmatter - 01/10/2013 10:47 - India - Erayu

Spicy

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 174

You deserved it 11 995

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a message from the girl I like. She told me to never speak to her again and not even look at her any more. Apparently the letter I wrote to her was perverted, vile and nasty. I never wrote her a letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 075

You deserved it 2 804

By Notsurewhattofeelaboutthis - 07/08/2015 02:55 - Australia - Ashfield

Spicy

Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 973

You deserved it 3 617

By KiDCuSHi - 20/08/2011 04:58 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Halfway through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She now won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 071

You deserved it 76 599

Hilariously sexy

By Laceylace - 22/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 210

You deserved it 13 220

Never forget

By Hello - 20/06/2011 05:21 - United States

Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 437

You deserved it 3 982

By tutusaurus - 28/08/2012 14:16 - United States - Salinas

Today, I wrote the girl I love a long, gushy letter to convince her to be with me instead of her abusive ex. Later on, I asked her what she thought. She said she can't read cursive. She chose the ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 610

You deserved it 4 444

By DJ - 11/12/2011 01:01 - United States

Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 201

You deserved it 2 858

You got mail

By Awkwardly_dumped - 21/08/2018 14:30

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. When we took a break and went downstairs, he checked the mail. He had received a letter from his ex-girlfriend, which he opened in front of me. He then began sobbing on my shoulder and broke up with me. He still had to drive me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 364

You deserved it 195

By schooyou101 - 04/12/2012 00:53 - United States - Prairie Village

Spicy

Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 864

You deserved it 3 956

By notakeeper - 03/01/2014 03:50 - United States - Orlando

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 090

You deserved it 4 661

Next

Top comments

killuhand 12

Tuesday 1 October 2013 19:03

"I want boob touch u very best"

raininginseattle 9

Tuesday 1 October 2013 19:00

Did he write you the letter in crayons and draw pretty pictures?

Comments

Lil_Red777 21

Tuesday 1 October 2013 20:38

Your grammar isn't so great either, nice run on sentences.

KimmyCupZ 21

Tuesday 1 October 2013 20:52

Love is blind, OP :)

sarcasticlover 30

Wednesday 2 October 2013 10:39

seriously?

Stayin_Classy777 8

Tuesday 1 October 2013 20:54

(Creep alert) So if I'm good in grammar would you let me touch something else?

JohnTheLad 13

Tuesday 1 October 2013 21:13

I believe I have decent grammatical skills.

incoherentrmblr 21

Tuesday 1 October 2013 21:26

Send him to me, I love sucking off guys with bad grammar.

incoherentrmblr 21

Tuesday 1 October 2013 21:28

Let the Grammar Nazis commence...

DedicatedNova 13

Tuesday 1 October 2013 21:28

Don't let guys touch your boobs in the first place if you don't even know about their grammar.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 1 October 2013 21:42

Grammar is very important...

perdix 29

Tuesday 1 October 2013 21:48

Must be a girl thing. I'd be happy to let a girl touch my moobs, even if she's got terrible grammar, poor math aptitude and shitty computer skills! I'd prefer one who's good at those things, but moob-touching is moob-touching!

ulissey_fml 22

Tuesday 1 October 2013 22:31

On the other hand , when you were very clause he let you touch his bracket....

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 428

You deserved it 236

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 050

You deserved it 4 457

The Top

Today, I got a call from a former client. After migrating his firm to cloud-based apps a few months back, he decided I was too expensive, and he'd manage things himself. He called today with "a couple of quick questions." Question 1: How does he log in to make changes? FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 101

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 058

You deserved it 8 645

Today, I just got back from a party, where I spent most of the night comforting the girl I like. Why? Because the guy she likes was being grinded on by another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 451

Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 154

You deserved it 2 568

Today I have to face the fact that either my anatomy is different from other women, or all panties are designed by clueless men: You know that little cotton lining they have? Ever notice how it is invariably placed so that it will catch exactly HALF of the wet patch it is supposed to absorb? FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 161

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 160

You deserved it 6 196