By goodgrief - 30/10/2013 18:28 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy
Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 920
You deserved it 8 778
May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Wowxoxo 17

What's her definition of "excessive"? Masturbation is perfectly normal.

192 14
Star928 7

The real FML here is... How did she know that you **********? 0_o

160 1

Comments

buckdharma 36

Good grief, I don't care that you live with Snoopy, it's not The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, you blockhead!

2 7
bobo_the_bear 5

Well that's ok. We all have hobbies OP.

4 0
MasqueradePrince 25

Just blame it on her being drunk and not fully there...

3 0
dukie420 4

Dude wtf is up with your profile pic

3 1
jonahwalzer 12

Mom of the year right there

1 0
AKAR2521 4

you should be a bit more secretive, thats weird you mom knows you ********** a lot.

4 1
kellyem2 20

While this is definitely awkward for you, she's definitely right about the risks involved with constant masturbation. Granted, it takes kind of a lot to get to that point, but it is still within the realm of possibility.

2 1
ben_e_boy28 4

No such thing as excessive masturbation ;)

1 0
adh123 3

She was probably clued in by the crusty socks, and hand towels left bedside; or the entire box of facial tissues being depleted in a day.

5 0
martin8337 35

And your palms may get hairy too.

5 0