Love: Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous...

By Jacklyn - 18/03/2012 19:18 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 775

You deserved it 20 084

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 452

You deserved it 3 598

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 114

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 370

You deserved it 6 378

By We raised that fool - 06/08/2014 13:21 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 330

You deserved it 4 034

Romantic

By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 01:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 827

You deserved it 3 165

By aero00 - 27/07/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 561

You deserved it 13 506

By misTreated - 30/05/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 977

You deserved it 5 559

Wet dream

By Annettedarling - 21/04/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog acted out a scene from Disney with me, by causing me and a member of the opposite sex to fall into a river after tangling our legs with the lead. No, it didn't lead to marriage, just me being yelled at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 992

You deserved it 523

Like tears in rain

By anabanannailoveu - 17/07/2021 07:59

Today, while I was on a walk, I saw my boyfriend; since it was raining, I thought it would be romantic to run up to him and kiss him. I ended up breaking his arm because I knocked him over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 389

Another fine mess

By wow - 16/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 334

Shelta957 13

Monday 19 March 2012 1:23

Poor doggy :(

BlinkandRHCP 7

Monday 19 March 2012 1:25

That poor dog, having to witness you guys fail at your "romantic rendezvous" and almost be crushed on top of it all. Or, shall I say, at the bottom.

Comments

nuttyhamster 3

Monday 19 March 2012 15:56

Oh this has made me smile :)

bchatzis 9

Monday 19 March 2012 17:22

If you were naked then thats a really bad situation. You could easily have gotten to 2nd or 3rd base with a dog.. ugh, I don't know who's worse off..

gothfreak 0

Monday 19 March 2012 17:45

Hay all i want to know is why the dog was there lol?

BlueEyesLove 0

Monday 19 March 2012 21:44

Wht was your dog watching you?

Ashley_ni_col_e 2

Monday 19 March 2012 23:24

I wanna do it on a trampoline

Ashley_ni_col_e 2

Monday 19 March 2012 23:24

I wanna do it on a trampoline

CalamityJanette 4

Tuesday 20 March 2012 4:10

More like f your dog's life.

L1LK3V13 0

Tuesday 20 March 2012 11:10

Trampolines stopped being romantic when I turned 5.

Rasetsu 10

Thursday 22 March 2012 7:26

Yikes, and here it has always been a dream of mine to lose my virginity on a trampoline. I'm not sure why, but it always has been.

derpy_batman 4

Saturday 1 February 2014 5:25

On a trampoline? Really?

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The Top

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 847

You deserved it 635

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 709

The Top

Today, I rode in the cab on the way back to my dorm from the airport. The taxi driver was on the phone and not really paying attention. I paid him and got out of the cab, but he drove away before I could get my luggage out of the trunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 026

You deserved it 5 370

Today, I discovered that my cheating, stealing ex-boyfriend is posting pictures of naked women having group sex, with my face photoshopped onto them. He sent those to my boss, my friends, my family, and only because I refused to bail his drunken self out of jail a couple weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 971

You deserved it 7 084

Today, I discovered that the man I have been talking to on a dating site is actually my ex-boyfriend. He created a fake profile and made me fall for someone that doesn't exist. We got on better anonymously than we ever did in 3 years together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 815

You deserved it 3 900

Today, after getting sick of my boyfriend pestering me for a threesome, I invited a male friend over. My boyfriend strongly declined, because, "Hell no, I ain’t gay." So this man expects me to be a lesbian, but him being gay is a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 672

You deserved it 316

Today, I had an extremely great day, to the point that I actually forgot for a moment that I suffer from depression. When I remembered, I became inexplicably sad, as usual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 255

Today, I was fired from my job as a waitress, all because someone complained there was too much seasoning in their food. As I said, I'm a waitress. This happened the same week I was hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 122