Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship...

By grizzlybear - 27/06/2011 05:55 - Mexico

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 147

You deserved it 6 989

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 4 912

Shaving!

By John Doe - 07/01/2020 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 051

You deserved it 462

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 13:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 901

You deserved it 4 722

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 141

You deserved it 8 780

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 654

You deserved it 8 430

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 380

By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 577

You deserved it 2 374

Faithful

By Munkeh - 12/04/2012 20:42 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 574

You deserved it 4 054

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 393

You deserved it 19 262

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 487

You deserved it 11 066

Hillaryy789 9

Monday 27 June 2011 12:00

You deserve it for not having a penis.

chickunkey 0

Monday 27 June 2011 12:03

Your boyfriend wants to have a sword fight.

Comments

zeroxbitch 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:19

k if thats how he said it then move on gurl :I

oyevteshyna 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:20

Your,not the only one

chengy4191 7

Monday 27 June 2011 14:20

netbeui435 3

Monday 27 June 2011 14:23

fag

thewife5 19

Monday 27 June 2011 14:23

he was probably telling you that you are selfish in bed and he wants stimulated:)

TacoDog 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:28

How subtle of him.

TacoDog 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:28

How subtle of him.

Larsyun 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:30

i think he doesnt filling u r a girl anymore. be careful.

Danibe11 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:39

Are you sure he's not gay?

Meloblood 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:44

Haha this made my day :)

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Kids Cute Money Birthday Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Scams Social Media School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Capitalism Miscellaneous Relationship advice Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 583

You deserved it 16 950

The Top

Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 1 380

Today, I was once again passed over for a promotion. I'm now the assistant to a kid who has failed to meet almost every single responsibility he's been given before. It's my job to make sure he's successful, and if he isn't, I'll lose my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 304

You deserved it 2 170

Today, a guy asked me out on Facebook, then called me a conceited bitch when I said no. I don't know, dude; maybe it's just that I already have a boyfriend, that you asked me out on Facebook, and that you posted the same message on 4 other girls' walls as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 472

You deserved it 1 876

Today, my 3 year-old saw the stretch marks on my stomach and proudly exclaimed, "Bacon!" After talking with my husband, he admitted that he agreed with our son's evaluation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 140

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 930

You deserved it 4 373

Today, I was at Walmart to pick up things. I was using an electric buggy because my ankle is injured, even though it was a bit odd. On the way out, the controls got stuck going forward, pushing along six carts into a pileup before I managed to get it to turn off. The manager saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 120

You deserved it 704

Same thing different taste

Shaving!

Bored

Faithful

Top comments

Comments