Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship... - FML

By grizzlybear - 27/06/2011 05:55 - Mexico

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 147

You deserved it 6 989

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 4 912

Shaving!

By John Doe - 07/01/2020 05:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 051

You deserved it 462

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 13:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 901

You deserved it 4 722

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 141

You deserved it 8 780

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 654

You deserved it 8 430

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 380

By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill

Spicy

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 577

You deserved it 2 374

Faithful

By Munkeh - 12/04/2012 20:42 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 574

You deserved it 4 054

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 393

You deserved it 19 262

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 487

You deserved it 11 066

Next

Top comments

Hillaryy789 9

Monday 27 June 2011 12:00

You deserve it for not having a penis.

chickunkey 0

Monday 27 June 2011 12:03

Your boyfriend wants to have a sword fight.

Comments

kidincalifornia 0

Monday 27 June 2011 17:01

I think he just saw the hangover 2

DisappearingRose 18

Monday 27 June 2011 17:11

Get a penis.

Thakidkeeykey 0

Monday 27 June 2011 17:17

oh man. life's ruff lol. what does that tell you :/. smh.

MexicanTexasQtt 9

Monday 27 June 2011 17:23

Can You Say Gayy. . . . ;D

nastynate1376 0

Monday 27 June 2011 17:27

That's gay...

joshnu 0

Monday 27 June 2011 17:33

your boyfriend is a flamer!

remain 3

Monday 27 June 2011 17:35

sucks to be you...

maphineRAWRS 10

Monday 27 June 2011 17:35

not going to lie, I read this over and over, saying you made a mistake, that girls don't have penises.. then I realized it's not a mistake at all.. hahaha

jessamy_brit 5

Monday 27 June 2011 17:46

maybe it's like when people say "grow a pair" and he said it in a confusing way!

TheDrummingResul 0

Monday 27 June 2011 18:12

Haha well you should get one.

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The Top

Today, I'm a graduate of a wealthy public school in So Cal. It astonishes me how many of my classmates don’t see a problem with today’s politicians, or gas, rent, and food prices. I was given shelter but had to earn everything I had growing up. I knew I wasn’t crazy though they acted like I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 102

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 207

You deserved it 3 632

The Top

Today, I realized my girlfriend was taking my pain meds from my shoulder surgery. She says it shouldn't hurt after 2 days. I don't have any left and can't get a refill for a week. She took them just for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 056

You deserved it 446

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 497

You deserved it 2 175

Today, I was called selfish for complaining about COVID lockdowns. Thanks to lockdowns, my family's restaurant has been permanently closed, I've burned through all my savings, and we are going to lose our house. I guess being upset about my family's plight is selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 163

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in the parking lot right before a baseball game, then convinced me to still go to the game in tears. After the game, we were walking back to the car and he goes, "so, how about some break up lovin'?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 898

You deserved it 9 277

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 317

You deserved it 10 258

Today, I found a video camera behind a plant in my bedroom. My husband uses it to video tape himself having sex, with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 012

You deserved it 2 573