Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship... - FML

By grizzlybear - 27/06/2011 05:55 - Mexico

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 147

You deserved it 6 989

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 4 912

Shaving!

By John Doe - 07/01/2020 05:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 051

You deserved it 462

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 13:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 901

You deserved it 4 722

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 141

You deserved it 8 780

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 654

You deserved it 8 430

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 380

By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill

Spicy

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 577

You deserved it 2 374

Faithful

By Munkeh - 12/04/2012 20:42 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 574

You deserved it 4 054

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 393

You deserved it 19 262

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 487

You deserved it 11 066

Next

Top comments

Hillaryy789 9

Monday 27 June 2011 12:00

You deserve it for not having a penis.

chickunkey 0

Monday 27 June 2011 12:03

Your boyfriend wants to have a sword fight.

Comments

knockoutmouse 8

Monday 27 June 2011 15:16

Penis envy by proxy?

mikeyb123 0

Monday 27 June 2011 15:17

******!!!

creedaddict 9

Monday 27 June 2011 15:20

strap on

redtigerlily 5

Monday 27 June 2011 15:22

It doesn't mean he is gay. He could mean characteristics. or alternatively alot of guys gave strap ons used on them in bdsm. It's kind of hot actually.

EpicCanadian 6

Monday 27 June 2011 15:33

thats your fault for not being a sheman

lemonsquid 6

Monday 27 June 2011 15:37

a toy penis!

EvilDave 13

Monday 27 June 2011 15:38

YDI for dating a gay guy. Buy a strap-on.

malorie12 2

Monday 27 June 2011 15:46

oh my.. that's totally gay!

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 27 June 2011 15:54

pssst. He wants a shemale.

DarkoDe14 0

Monday 27 June 2011 15:55

Did somebody say,... PENIS?

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I lost all hope of finding a man. I’m gonna be 34 and I can’t get a date to save my life. I was cursed with a facial deformity and 285lbs of weight, making all men run for the hills. All of my younger sisters have got married and started families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 193

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 943

You deserved it 46 021

The Top

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 143

You deserved it 78 912

Today, just as we got done having probably the best sex of our relationship, my partner called me her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 166

Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 826

You deserved it 29 934

Today, I have been waiting for a call from a job I applied for. I soon got a text from my current boss, who doesn't know I'm job hunting, letting me know that the recruiter was trying to reach me. Turns out my number on my resumé was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 761

You deserved it 38 922

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years finally asked me to marry him. He said: We could save taxes if we married.. what do you think? That was the most romantic thing he said to me in the last 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 416

You deserved it 10 049

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 720

You deserved it 1 841