Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex...

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 289

You deserved it 10 505

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Preparation

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 12:00

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 394

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 318

You deserved it 4 311

Wet noodle

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 558

You deserved it 103

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 380

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 249

You deserved it 386

Strange terminology

By Not true - 18/07/2016 02:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 422

You deserved it 1 762

Same

By Anonymous - 08/01/2015 14:24 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 942

You deserved it 6 076

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 497

You deserved it 6 363

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 862

You deserved it 68 137

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 223

ccsmilvr 0

Monday 28 November 2011 9:00

Wow that does suck, but why would you let him do that in the first place ??

mrbattleman 10

Monday 28 November 2011 9:01

maybe ear sex? once you go black, you go deaf

Comments

Rednomad 5

Monday 28 November 2011 17:01

Wow. He's lucky to have u. Even my wife wouldn't do 2 of 3. Or more if she's THAT willingly.

AliCat18 12

Monday 28 November 2011 17:10

you need to talk to your boyfriend cause that is some kinky shizzz. try new positions, i garentee there are dozens you haven't tried!

RealChinese 7

Monday 28 November 2011 17:17

Afraid of what he'll try next? Try not doing whatever he wants.

bambam7291 2

Monday 28 November 2011 17:25

give me all 3 holes and I'll be a happy man

structuredchaoz 4

Monday 28 November 2011 17:41

Ok that's just creepy. Good luck with that one. Methinks he's going to be switch hitting soon.

Kfryyy 1

Monday 28 November 2011 17:42

That's obnoxious. He's a freak.

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Monday 28 November 2011 17:49

Titty ****?

picturescrazy 24

Monday 28 November 2011 17:57

Why are you dating such a creep?

pudwoogie 0

Monday 28 November 2011 18:23

Time to drop that zero and find a hero

hyden121 2

Monday 28 November 2011 18:29

I can only imagine the sounds that makes...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 018

You deserved it 3 408

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 67

The Top

Today, I had an anxiety attack because I thought I'd lost my anxiety medication. It ended up being on the shelf right where I left it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 185

You deserved it 10 347

Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 100

Today, my mother and aunt got into an argument about who had gotten groped more times in public. I don't know what's more disturbing, that my own mother would brag about getting groped, or that she won the argument, at 34 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 849

You deserved it 2 726

Today, I was talking with a friend and casually mentioned how close I live to a train station. She said that since we’re both about a day away from NYC, we should meet up there and have a girls trip. I thought it was an awesome idea. When I mentioned it to my fiancé, he freaked about money. The date isn’t even set yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 119

Today, I realized how lazy my daughter truly is when I saw her shivering under a thin blanket on top of her perfectly made bed. I asked why she didn’t just climb under her covers to sleep warm and comfortable. She said that this way she doesn’t have to make up her bed every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 213

Today, I exchanged numbers with this guy in the McDonald's drive-thru. When he asked why I gave him my number I told him I thought he had a nice smile. When I asked him the same question, he responded with "I just thought you had a nice rack". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 530

You deserved it 47 965