Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex...

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 290

You deserved it 10 505

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Same thing different taste

Preparation

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 12:00

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 395

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 319

You deserved it 4 311

Wet noodle

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 103

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 381

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 250

You deserved it 386

Strange terminology

By Not true - 18/07/2016 02:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 422

You deserved it 1 763

Same

By Anonymous - 08/01/2015 14:24 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 947

You deserved it 6 079

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 499

You deserved it 6 363

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 866

You deserved it 68 137

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 225

ccsmilvr 0

Monday 28 November 2011 9:00

Wow that does suck, but why would you let him do that in the first place ??

mrbattleman 10

Monday 28 November 2011 9:01

maybe ear sex? once you go black, you go deaf

Comments

Okayitwasme 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 3:22

Okay, it's time to go to the sex shop and see what would be fun for the both of you! Enough said!

brownbear16 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 3:37

hide your boobs

ilovejosh63 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 3:39

what's lube ?

Epikouros 31

Tuesday 29 November 2011 3:54

Lube is Yiddish for love.

dansco 24

Tuesday 29 November 2011 3:59

Your fella is one weird bloke! Armpit sex, cover your ears and straighten your knees...

Tise 4

Tuesday 29 November 2011 4:07

That is just weird

krsimir 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 4:08

He must be REALLY horny

AlBear1895 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 4:16

It's probably gonna be a nose job.

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 29 November 2011 4:38

Fecal fetish.

spbenge 1

Tuesday 29 November 2011 4:46

Freak

kelis_fml 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 4:49

Titty sex?

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The Top

Today, I broke a world record on third-wheeling with my friend and his girlfriend. As we were driving back from the beach, I took a nap and woke up to my friend receiving head in the front seat. They knew I was awake, but they continued and finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 702

You deserved it 1 016

Today, while fighting unemployment and an visible abscess on my neck, I was cajoled into attending my Mom's birthday party. I spent the entire time at the restaurant trying to hide an oozing sore with a bandage, eating partially edible food. The cost? $40 I can't afford to spend on food not worth $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 99

The Top

Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Turns out, an African-American girl approached her and tried to play with her, but my daughter cut her off and said, "I don’t want to play with a black person." I have no idea where she learned this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 1 324

Today, I walked into a T-Mobile store to get a new phone. I wanted all of my numbers on my new phone, but the customer service rep had to transfer them. He said jokingly, "I understand. You don't want to lose your girlfriend's number." My girlfriend and I broke up two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 048

You deserved it 7 648

Today, I fell asleep during my division emergency meeting. As I about to head home that evening, my boss patted me on the back saying, "Wrong move. Good luck". Turned out, it was a meeting to determine who will be kicked out of the company due to recession. My name was written first on the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 917

You deserved it 54 577

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 40

Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 338

You deserved it 5 494

Today, while doing self-checkout at Walmart, the cap of my laundry detergent came off as I scanned it and dumped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 207