There's no pleasing some people.

He must really suck at sex.

And the flashlights cheat on OP's boyfriend with OP's vibrator.

@20 That's a good idea... Outsource the foreplay...

Here's a scary story fellow FML'ers: A man walks into a hotel and goes to reception. He asks for a room, he hands over the requested amount of money and is about to take the key when the receptionist says "Before you go, do not try to get inside the room with no number on the door". Staring curiously the man agreed and went to his room. After not being able to sleep he quietly exited his room and creeped over to the numberless door. He bent down and looked through the keyhole. All be saw was a pale white woman with her head facing the wall. He wanted to knock but decided against it. The next night he went back to the door and looked through the keyhole again. But all he saw was red. He thought that the staff had covered the keyhole, the next morning he went to repetition and handed over his key. The reception asked "you looked though the keyhole didn't you?" he replied "yes, but the second time it was only red". The receptionist then said "well I suppose I should tell you, a man murdered his wife in that room. The ghost is white all over but has pure red eyes".

I once dated a guy who had problems with my vibrator. It was my first one I bought and before I even got it home he stole it from me (not kidding) and eventually, like 2 months later I found it at his house. Personification and perceived threat of a vibator my friends. Not cute.

sounds like he has penis envy

xD

Jealous much?

Hey needs to grow up, I think that's sexy! However he could be insecure about his junk.