Sex, Sextoys and Intimacy: Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be...

By 504-A1 - 11/05/2012 22:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 481

You deserved it 10 406

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Same thing different taste

Hot and heavy

By Lickmylovepump - 19/01/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 432

You deserved it 35 551

By XxMe123xx - 19/08/2010 00:51 - France

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 518

You deserved it 10 932

Phoney sex

By Anonymous - 09/03/2020 08:00

Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 242

You deserved it 595

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 580

You deserved it 47 167

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 285

You deserved it 2 746

Oh yeah?

By alexis89 - 26/05/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 444

You deserved it 20 175

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 964

You deserved it 7 868

By Heyy - 24/11/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 098

You deserved it 12 063

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 730

You deserved it 15 160

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 946

You deserved it 12 716

Monjara 4

Saturday 12 May 2012 0:53

Lmao he's jealous of a vibrator.

llamafish 25

Saturday 12 May 2012 0:54

I hope you used protection. Wouldn't want to get hearing AIDS ;)

Comments

sneeze_watch 19

Saturday 12 May 2012 5:47

If he masturbates, but still has a problem with you using a vibrator, tell him to have fun ******* himself from now on.

zach8771 3

Saturday 12 May 2012 5:51

You shouldn't have sex with your vibrator before marriage...

lialikesapplepie 0

Saturday 12 May 2012 6:03

Get back at him by marrying the vibrator... Wait...

ZDR 11

Saturday 12 May 2012 6:07

..well, he shud be thankful itz just a vibrator, not some others guyz wang! :p

XxWolvesBitexX 8

Saturday 12 May 2012 15:09

should* it's*

XxWolvesBitexX 8

Saturday 12 May 2012 15:11

guy's* Sorry, I forgot that one too.

Mudkipxo 0

Saturday 12 May 2012 6:41

what is he, 5?

Hamo 5

Saturday 12 May 2012 7:36

Marry it if it make you breakfast in bed, tell you that you are the most prettiest girl in the world and can be a vibrator you can rely on

YasminBleathe 0

Saturday 12 May 2012 7:51

Roflmao jealous of a vibrator haha

Shadow_Phantom 26

Saturday 12 May 2012 9:08

Sounds like he's a bit insecure; I guess now you know for future reference, and FYL.

_WhatTheFuck_ 5

Saturday 12 May 2012 9:10

What the hell was that loud bang??

SammyS2012 21

Saturday 12 May 2012 15:17

That's actually what I was wondering :/

uberhaxorjames 1

Saturday 12 May 2012 9:28

Man why would he be jellous he can **** tha pink and the vibrater can have the stink

Keywords

Public freakouts Relatable Health Geek Music Scams Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Transportation Cops Bikes Kids Fight Family Mother in law AITA Miscellaneous Social Media Relationship advice Love Work Art Students Noise Sleep Animals Birds Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 457

You deserved it 2 906

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, I found out that my mother has been telling several people that my fiancé and I will be moving into her house for the foreseeable future. All because we're moving to a city close by for jobs and are still searching for housing. I found this out from several of the people she told. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 104

Today, I invited a girl I really like to spend the afternoon at my place. Everything went great... with my sister. They became really good friends, and me, well, I tried to alleviate my boredom in front of my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 091

You deserved it 2 862

Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 490

You deserved it 9 215

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 384

You deserved it 3 194

Today, I also needed to add, "Does not currently live in a psychiatric hospital, after being declared 'Not criminally responsible for a crime'" to my list of qualities that I want in a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 724

You deserved it 2 231

Today, I went on Roblox and logged onto Work At A Pizza Place for the first time in almost a year. I ended up spending a decent amount of time crying because I forgot my pet in the game is modeled after my cat, who died four months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 155