Intimacy: Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented... - FML

By fmlguy382 - 22/06/2011 08:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 289

You deserved it 7 870

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Same thing different taste

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Spicy

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 603

You deserved it 1 754

What the actual ****?

By samrodpuertorico - 13/02/2009 20:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 359

You deserved it 3 037

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 878

You deserved it 4 525

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 16:17 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 643

You deserved it 11 270

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 299

You deserved it 4 356

Close encounters

By blarp - 17/10/2011 04:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 707

You deserved it 2 814

By Jill - 09/04/2011 22:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 607

You deserved it 4 363

By yepintheladiesroom - 07/06/2014 21:37 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 731

You deserved it 5 633

By reedcarter - 04/12/2012 02:14

Spicy

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 061

You deserved it 2 057

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 604

You deserved it 2 605

Next

Top comments

Livinia 11

Wednesday 22 June 2011 16:08

Would you rather him give you a random hand job?

alicianoar 7

Wednesday 22 June 2011 16:08

Congrats on the big penis bro.

Comments

angelboo 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 18:02

he prolly hatin !!

RokNRoll11 9

Wednesday 22 June 2011 18:04

(sarcastically) that doesn't scream GAY

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 22 June 2011 18:07

did you cross streams?

ncov089 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 18:08

ha ha. sexy!

jonathan6773 5

Wednesday 22 June 2011 18:09

Take it as a compliment. Hide your willy better next time.

isabel22 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 18:10

well at least that's all he say

parxxx 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 18:17

At least he didn't say it was small

roobin302 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 18:25

sorry

perdix 29

Wednesday 22 June 2011 18:27

Did you check out his? If he had a micropenis, the compliment may not have very much weight. Personally, I'd rather not have any men comment on my penis -- there are no good answers.

Boomer21 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 18:28

When someone tells you that you have big penis, it's almost absurd to say your life is ******. Just hold your head up high OP.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 798

You deserved it 21 259

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 953

You deserved it 28 266

The Top

Today, I got a popcorn kernel stuck in my throat. It was quite irritating so thought I could get it out with my finger. Good thing, the kernel is gone. Bad thing, I now have the rest of my lunch on my shirt as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 037

You deserved it 31 786

Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 708

You deserved it 3 268

Today, my wife stopped mid blowjob because it tasted too clean, like my mint shower gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 269

Today, I work at a private pool where I can get up to six people in for free. Naturally, I invited my crush. She brought her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 322

You deserved it 1 111

Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 309

You deserved it 4 917

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 501

You deserved it 88 621