Intimacy: Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented...

By fmlguy382 - 22/06/2011 08:13 - United States

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 289

You deserved it 7 870

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Same thing different taste

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 603

You deserved it 1 754

What the actual ****?

By samrodpuertorico - 13/02/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 359

You deserved it 3 037

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 878

You deserved it 4 525

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 16:17 - Canada

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 643

You deserved it 11 270

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 299

You deserved it 4 356

Close encounters

By blarp - 17/10/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 707

You deserved it 2 814

By Jill - 09/04/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 607

You deserved it 4 363

By yepintheladiesroom - 07/06/2014 21:37 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 731

You deserved it 5 633

By reedcarter - 04/12/2012 02:14

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 061

You deserved it 2 057

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 604

You deserved it 2 605

Livinia 11

Wednesday 22 June 2011 16:08

Would you rather him give you a random hand job?

alicianoar 7

Wednesday 22 June 2011 16:08

Congrats on the big penis bro.

Comments

paradiseisland01 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 19:04

at least he didn't say how small you are ! well god must have gave you a wonder gift .

JOURNEYTHEBEAST 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 19:07

at least he didn't ask for a bite of your McWeiner!

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 22 June 2011 19:12

Probably a fag trolling for young men in random restrooms.

YayFlameWarz 9

Wednesday 22 June 2011 19:14

No **** of course.

LifeSucks974 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 19:25

that's kinda funny but sucks at the same time

thomaskate28 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 19:30

congratulations!

WDLfootball 8

Wednesday 22 June 2011 19:41

he was proly a girl at one point.

fadingfaith 4

Wednesday 22 June 2011 19:59

Wow....Why was he staring at your dick?

cynthiaF 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 20:00

" That's quite a package you got there." " Thank you... it was a gift." >.

CrazyCountryGirl 5

Wednesday 22 June 2011 20:11

Well thats........creepy

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The Top

Today, I was at the grocery store when I bumped into my ex. Trying to be polite, I asked how she was doing, only for her to reply, "Great, thanks! I'm actually getting married next month." Meanwhile, I was standing there in a Garfield t-shirt clutching a carton of Ben & Jerry's and a bottle of cheap wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 192

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 204

You deserved it 6 457

The Top

Today, I misplaced my phone at small house party. I found it later, but not before being called a sick bastard by my crush. It seems one of my "friends" sent her a cock pic with my phone, and now she wants nothing to do with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 008

You deserved it 5 351

Today, my dad tried to hook me up with someone. It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 81

Today, it was my great aunt's funeral. We all had to wait two hours for the service to begin, because they forgot to dig the grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 581

You deserved it 2 731

Today, I came out to my parents. My mom and dad think that I'm lying, just so I could "fit in" with everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 331

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 346

You deserved it 4 890

Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 647

You deserved it 12 413

Same thing different taste

What the actual ****?

Close encounters

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