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FML - The follow-up
willstaysingle Say more :
I am the Original Poster. I'm only replying because so many of you requested a follow-up and so many of you are misconceptualizing the context. From the beginning I discussed my interest in a serious relationship and expressed my eventual wish to be with her. I did not explicitly say I wanted to marry her. In common logic, there is no need for that. It is to be expected. For the ones asking about age. I am 30 years old, she is 25 years old. That was clearly not the problem. I am not seekin
By willstaysingle - / Tuesday 29 April 2014 14:18 /
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We are saying that he's a sweet guy because of all the time and effort he put into planning his proposal. If he wasn't sweet, he wouldn't have taken all that effort. Sorry OP, I hope you find another lucky girl who will love you and care for you as much as you cared for your ex.

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I don't get how you can propose to someone when you're not actually sure they want to be with you. surely if you're at the point where you're ready to marry them you'd have talked over all these things already. If one of you isn't ready neither of you are.

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agreed 136. if you are thinking about marriage, then you need to about it with your partner before you propose. if you don't, how do you know she even wants to get married?

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True, yet he said she dumped him and rejected, wouldn't she just say she wasn't ready if she wasn't, but ACTUALLY wanted to be with OP? Sorry OP, hope you have better luck in the future :/

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What else is she really suppose to do? yeah they perhaps should of talked about it first but if she doesn't want to be married and he does there isn't much to talk about

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Nobody is forced to accept a proposal, no matter how well it was planned and how much effort was put into it. Some people don't want to get married or simply don't feel ready for it yet. Proposing in public makes it worse - there are people standing around waiting for an answer that you're forced to give immediately, instead of calmly talking about it. Additionally, rejecting someone's proposal will put a serious strain on ANY relationship, and it's really hard to figure out how to continue with

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@askullnamedbilly: You are completely right, but also publicly dumping him was a bit harsh. She could have at least waited to be in private before ending the relationship.

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True, but most of the hate is aimed towards the fact that she broke up with him directly afterwards in front of everyone. She could have spoken to him later on privately as to not embarrass him even more after rejecting the proposal...

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Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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Her reaction (and thus, the breakup) to the proposal was public because he chose to propose publicly. I strongly dislike elaborate public proposals because of the exact same reaction a lot of people here on FML are having. Unless you've discussed the topic of marriage at length and are a hundred percent sure of your partner's reaction, it's basically emotional blackmail - everyone's watching and you've put a lot of effort into it, so if they dare to say no, your partner's a horrible person who's

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Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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They've been together for three years, the topic of marriage has probably come up, but then if you're 100% sure that your partner wants to get married, it kind of ruins the point of the proposal. But all of that is besides the point, if ops ex girlfriend was kind she wouldn't have broken up with him after the proposal, it's fine if she wasn't ready for marriage , but ending the relationship in front of everyone, especially after she saw all the effort OP did for the proposal, is not a "kind

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#73. I don't disagree one bit with your comment but would it have killed her to reject the proposal with the audience and save the breakup for a private time later?That is a lot for someone to take. Yes, he is the one who made it public but they dated 3 years and I would bet he really though she would say yes.

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What if her reply was along the lines of "No, I'm sorry, I can't (marry you). I don't think I can do this anymore" *leaves*.... if she was stunned, upset at the public proposal, not sure what she wanted. We don't know the delivery of her reply. If it was "No, and I'm leaving you." Then, yeah she's a bitch and he deserves better. But the first one? Surely that's an acceptable answer. Not what he wanted, but acceptable. OP is seeing this from his side, not hers, and is hurt and

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Well... OP was the one to propose in a public setting, wasn't he? Pulling him aside to talk about it would have changed very little. As soon as you don't immediately start to cry and say yes, everybody knows the proposal went wrong. If they didn't discuss the issue of marriage and their opinions on it before, it's possible she didn't know it was something he eventually expected of their relationship. It's a legitimate issue to end a relationship over, and he kind of forced her hand by putting he

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#117 I don't think it's fair to say that it's wrong period, but defiantly make sure everyone is on the same page as far as marriage is concerned. Asking how they feel about it doesn't ruin the surprise, and also helps prevent things like this from happening

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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Possibly YDI for doing the proposal so publicly. Believe it or not some people would rather the privacy. Myself included. Even if I wanted to say yes I'd be freaked out and feeling PRESSURED to say yes (if I didn't want to) having all eyes on me like that. She might be the same.

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Agree 100%. We are so reality TV hungry that we want everything to be public. A proposal should be private and personal, not made for a highlight reel. Re: public proposals Guys: don't do it. Ladies: don't expect it. BTW: sorry that happened to you, OP.

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That's a bit of an over reaction. Sounds like someone needs a snickers. Also, there will never be an FML without a YDI, like there never will be a youtube video without negative votes. It's just people yo, they be all zippity zap and shiz.

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I voted YDI on this as I do on all marriage proposal FMLs because if OP had taken the time anywhere in all this planning to talk with his ex and find out her views on marriage and/or public proposals, he could've spared himself. Never propose, especially publicly, without being 100% certain you'll get a yes!

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Be a bitch because she could? For fuck's sake, you're ALWAYS allowed to say no to a proposal. No matter what was discussed beforehand. If she doesn't want to marry him, whatever the reason, she is absolutely entitled to reject him. Talking about maybe, theoretically marrying a person someday is NOT the same as actually doing it. You're not forced to say yes because you might hurt the other person's feelings, or because they 'deserve' a yes for putting a lot of effort into it, and it doesn't make

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