Health: Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap...

By teeeessst - 13/12/2009 06:26 - United States

Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 859

You deserved it 26 080

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By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 02:00

Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truckstop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud, that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 118

By justine - 13/12/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 969

You deserved it 3 126

By Anonymous - 16/03/2013 17:31 - Sweden - Karlskrona

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 935

You deserved it 2 570

By babs - 07/05/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 162

You deserved it 4 740

By N/A - 25/09/2012 04:13 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 465

You deserved it 2 838

By Gasman - 15/07/2017 15:30 - New Zealand

Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 505

You deserved it 3 132

By facepalm - 14/06/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 964

You deserved it 35 780

By Anonymous - 16/07/2013 04:41 - United States

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 185

You deserved it 3 371

By missy - 09/03/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 418

You deserved it 8 666

By NotALady - 15/12/2016 22:20

Today, I was at a gas station when I got a bad stomach ache. I clenched my cheeks together and rushed to the nearest bathroom. Twenty minutes and a clogged toilet later, I exited the one-person bathroom to a line of very angry women. I had run into the wrong restroom. One of them threw a tampon at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 405

You deserved it 1 649

harmony88 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 12:24

Surely you could have waited until you were at home to take the test....

juliadream 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 12:25

...why the Target bathroom? As opposed to the privacy of your own bathroom...?

Comments

shalizzz 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 15:20

There's a million possible reasons why she decided to take the pregnancy test there and not at home. Maybe the OP shares a house with other people, like her parents/her boyfriend/roommates, and she didn't want to risk them seeing the pregnancy test or its package in the trash can and thus finding out about the possible pregnancy. Or maybe she couldn't get home until later and she was really frightened or really excited that she might be pregnant and just couldn't wait until she got home.

Jbeatlebuggy 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 15:57

Newsflash: Crap smells. Its not like shes going to crap out rose scented poop.

Firetiger 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 16:35

#9, if you want to make an arguement, you should probably spell things correctly, that way you sound more reliable. I laughed when I read #13's comment. YDI, im sure you have taken a crap like that before. We all do it. And you dont know who she is, she may be someone who is sick and had to shit out all of the medicine she took. (just an example, you dont know her situation)

ziggyknox 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 16:46

*argument

TheHeroOfTime 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 17:44

Argument* Astrix goes after the incorrectly spelled word or incorrectly grammaramasized sentence

boatkicker 4

Sunday 13 December 2009 18:34

argument* The correction should have the same capitalization that the original mistake was supposed to have. In this case, no capital A.

Blazekim12 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 16:42

If you are pregnant have fun telling your kid that you discovered tht he existed in Target.CONGRATS MOMMA!

thatguy1103 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 16:46

Ohhh, I love the Target bathrooms.. they smell like fruit loops or something.. ya know when people aren't taking "fragrant craps"?

thesunshotme 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 17:04

Wow, everyone's so judgmental. I'm sure none of you have ever been so worried/excited about anything in your life. You know, the kind of vomit inducing excitement/worry you feel when it's almost unbearable to have to wait find something out. In this case, OP either desperately hoped she wasn't pregnant, or was excited to find out if she was pregnant. Either way, she couldn't wait. I'd wager that she hoped she wasn't pregnant and wanted to know the truth at the moment. Or, probably did not want to take any chances of people at home finding the pregnancy test. If so, THAT'S the FML. The fragrant crap was just an added bonus, making it even more FML-y. Let the flames begin. I'll help you: FML-y isn't a word.

myfriend_youfail 3

Sunday 13 December 2009 17:05

I don't think you realize, OP, that public restrooms/bathrooms, contrary to their names, are not for resting or bathing in. You go into those rooms to make stool or urine. WTF did you expect???????? If you were really that desperate to take the pregnancy test, then damn...maybe you should have just squatted down in Aisle 3 and done it right there in front of God and everybody. At least then your poor, delicate nose wouldn't be assaulted with the scent of shit, right?

VirtuallyUnbreak 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 17:12

^ Hahaha

Thecommish 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 17:34

Pathetic. You're in such a sad position that you couldn't wait to get home? YDI for putting yourself into such a per-dick-a-ment.

Starfire22 5

Sunday 13 December 2009 17:38

Wouldn't you have noticed that someone was taking a crap when you first went into the bathroom? So why didn't you just go to a different public restroom? I understand the feeling of wanting to know imediatley if your preggers or not, but if I go to a public restroom and it smells bad, I just go to a different store... It's not like you really had to pee or really had to shit...