The illustrated FMLs

Today, I went to the emergency room. Apparently, when your ex-girlfriend hits you in the nuts with a bat, it can do some damage. FML

By FAIL - / Tuesday 8 September 2009 05:29 / United States
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By  vapors  |  0

You know these FMLs doesnt have too be posted the same day it happens its just a rule that they have too start with Today and end with FML, It might have happened too him the same day or 5years ago, and he only discovered the site now. Had a funny story and posted it. Stop being an ignorant bastard and get fucked in the ear. Oh and FYL OP, That really sucks.

  Poonheart  |  0

Oh, it all makes sense now! So you just got your balls crushed this morning, and then went to the emergency room, and now the only thing you can think about is posting this hilarious experience on the internet, right!?

I mean, an ordinary person would be more concerned about their balls, and about the probable surgery that follows, right, or do you have a laptop on your lap while they're operating on you?

It's gaylords like you that make up stupid stories like this that make this site... well, I shouldn't single you out, 99% of the stories here are fake

  vapors  |  0

You know these FMLs doesnt have too be posted the same day it happens its just a rule that they have too start with Today and end with FML, It might have happened too him the same day or 5years ago, and he only discovered the site now. Had a funny story and posted it. Stop being an ignorant bastard and get fucked in the ear. Oh and FYL OP, That really sucks.

  omigawdd  |  0

although this is probably a fake
you should remember that all FML's need to be started with the word Today,
it might of happened to a person a week ago or maybe even a year ago
so maybe you should think a bit before calling someone a gay lord and shit...
and if you think FML sucks and most of them are fake why are you on it?

  pyros09  |  0

Most people don't post it on the same day, because they may not have had access to a computer but that doesn't mean they can't post it a week later for example. So grow a brain and stop complaining.

  Tigg3r  |  3

well I think that most of the stories on here are true. It really could happen and maybe these people who are putting up fake posts are trying to make other people laugh. Just because you didn't find it funny doesn't mean you should ruin it for other people. It's like telling a five year old santa doesn't exist. You just ruined thier view of christmas. So maybe before you start bitching you should think of other people because it's garunteed that most of them actually don't care and just want to laugh.


# 155 Probably because his/her life isn't as interesting as these, and he/she is pathetic enough to look for pleasure in "fake" stories that could happen to anyone. Then rant about them because he/she is truly just feeling sorry for being just a waste of skin.

By  picturetaker  |  0

you probably deserved it. we only hit guys there when they mess up badly.


or if a girl is a retarded bitch which takes break up badly (he said ex so I assume he was in the middle of a break up or something). Yet still u have to be a stupid hoe to hit someone in balls, seriously. And you do that. Even when u don't get hitted with a bat. Press charges.


I can't think of a single thing that "deserves" assault and battery, with the exception of self defense.

It's never, never, never okay to hit a guy in the testicles, never!

Disclaimer: if it happens accidentally, we will laugh hysterically, we don't mean to, it's just a reflex thing - sorry!

  judgeymcjudge  |  0

"Never" is a strong word. In cases of self-defense, especially in a rape situation, I think it's perfectly legit; hell, in some cases, I think it works as punishment as well.
And perhaps in cases of extreme fucktardery - there are definitely some heavy YDI FMLs on this site where a person sure as hell deserves some swift and terrible retribution, and a kick in the balls would fit quite well.

And maybe this OP did deserve some sort of testicle pain, but really... a bat??? That's vicious. If he actually deserved that, he had to have either knocked up his ex's mother, raped her sister or beat her during the course of their relationship. Or maybe he filmed her while she was on the toilet...
But anyway, point is, it comes down to two things - either he was the very worst kind of prick and deserved it, or the girlfriend completely overreacting and/or needlessly malicious.

  the_juice  |  0

Wait, so it's ok for a woman to assault a man out of anger, but everyone flips the F* out if a guy hit a girl out of anger... Obviously, it's not ok for a man to hit a girl, but if an ex-girlfriend assaulted me I would press some hella charges on behalf of all wrongly assaulted brothers.

As they say, do on to others...can I hear an AMEN?

  judgeymcjudge  |  0

Actually, dude, I agree with you, so yes, certainly, AMEN. I loathe the double standard - I feel like it's the most hypocritical aspect of feminism. But still, I can't help but feel that the basic physiological differences between men and women sort of justify that double standard (as far as a double standard can ever be "justified") and for me, personally, it's very deeply ingrained into my psyche to never hit a woman, so I guess it's a culture thing too, perhaps?

  judgeymcjudge  |  0

thequickredofox: Well, not really, 'cause you linked the self-defense bit to assault and battery in general, then went on to say that it was never all right to hit a man in the testicles. Never, never, never, and then another never at the end :P
In any case, I get you, and my mentioning it was not about pulling you up on it and rather just elaborating.

  HorrorByrd  |  0

"You probably deserved it, we only hit guys when they mess up badly"

wow you're a complete dumbass.
how would you react if a guy hit you because you "messed up badly".
I'd bet money you'd cry and whine about how guys shouldn't hit girls.
Did you maybe consider that women an be violent and overreact too?
If anything I think women overreact more then men.
I know because I'm a woman. So shut the fuck up, you don't know what you're talknig about.

  vvvalori  |  0

I think women who hit men are as low as men who hit women.
Sure, we can't do the damage men can, but seriously? It's just a huge lack of respect.
Girls, get over yourselves if you think hitting a man empowers you. It makes you look like a trailer trash ho.
Jus' sayin'.


exactly. not enough info to determine whether YDI. but i voted FML anyway because anyone who gets hit with a BAT anywhere, especially a man and his testicles, has a fucked life no matter how you look at it.

By  kurtsee  |  0

dude no offence could ever diserve a bat to balls damn I fell for u do ... but look at neil Armstrong he's got one nut and is a father so there is hope for u

By  thequickredofox  |  0

Again.... extremely glad my genitalia is internal and safe from baseball bats and thumb tacks!

I can't even think of a good reason why someone would do that - glad she's the ex because that is absolutely, positively NOT a classy thing to do *owww*

  plexico  |  3

There are advantages to having your genitalia stowed neatly up in your body cavity, especially in world with bats, thumbtacks and unexpectedly hard-struck tennis balls (don't ask).

Even with the vulnerability of our junk, it does work the same every day of the month.

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