Health: Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML - FML

By Holly - 05/02/2010 07:33 - United States

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 776

You deserved it 35 263

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/04/2011 13:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 178

You deserved it 51 630

By Anonymous - 23/11/2009 09:54 - United States

Today, I went onto the treadmill at my gym. When it prompted me to enter my age I put 27. I'm 29 and am lying about my age to a workout machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 733

You deserved it 38 800

Liar !

By Anonymous - 14/03/2020 09:00

Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 1 262

Fitness is overrated

By Frankie says relax - 10/12/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 654

By idefka - 08/04/2017 02:00

Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 510

You deserved it 1 850

By anonymous - 24/06/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 691

You deserved it 5 218

By Anonymous - 18/01/2015 16:34 - Ireland

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 957

You deserved it 20 682

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 059

You deserved it 36 575

By notsosexygirl - 21/02/2009 09:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 072

You deserved it 68 570

Health is overrated

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 12:00

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 182

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Top comments

abcdefghiloveyou 0

Friday 5 February 2010 16:09

YDI, it's not like it'll judge you.

Cthulu 0

Friday 5 February 2010 16:08

I bet it laughed at you and told you to lay off the Krispy Kremes. There are some lies that just can't be tolerated, even by a treadmill.

Comments

nojobryan 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 4:27

I lied to my teacher and got an F and a black eye from him "sipping" on a spot of water on the floor. Then I got sent to the principals office because I made a teacher slip. DONT LIE!!!!!!!!!

partygal123 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 22:34

Fail

JohnnyScene 7

Wednesday 8 February 2012 22:11

I heard the P90x does wonders

WretchedOnyx 29

Friday 25 May 2012 2:10

Sadly I do this all the time ...

WretchedOnyx 29

Friday 25 May 2012 2:10

Sadly I do this all the time ...

claiiire_fml 17

Wednesday 11 December 2013 18:26

YDI. You're pathetic, OP. Its a treadmill. It's not gonna gossip to all the other treadmills.

kenjenkei 32

Tuesday 25 February 2014 0:48

Oh, come on guys. Stop being dicks- I bet you've all done something far dumber at least once in your lives. I know I have. OP, don't worry, it's understandable. Sometimes having some excess weight can be embarrassing to admit, even to yourself. Good on you for making the first steps towards better health!

random2212 16

Friday 15 January 2016 22:39

You're a pathetic being

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The Top

Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 86

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 847

You deserved it 635

The Top

Today, after spending a lazy day at home, I went to UPS with my mom to help her pick up a package. While in line, she sent me back to the car because I'm, "an embarrassment to be around" when I'm not wearing makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 151

You deserved it 2 958

Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 743

You deserved it 3 549

Today, I was walking my dog when a lady approached me, commented how beautiful she was, and asked to pet her. I obliged and next thing I knew I was pushed to the ground and maced. She made off with my dog. The police is unable to locate them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 60

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 314

You deserved it 1 536

Today, I was with my boyfriend and I said that I was self-conscious of my acne. He told me that only one of my zits was noticeable and that it wasn't so bad. In fact he said it looked cool, like a bullet wound or something "awesome" like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 406

You deserved it 5 408

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 295

You deserved it 7 642