Kids: Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told... - FML

By Pumpkin - 18/07/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 201

You deserved it 102 931

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Same thing different taste

By parent - 08/03/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 203

You deserved it 2 823

By anonymous - 19/08/2013 05:41 - United States - Lamar

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 374

You deserved it 3 053

By Mom - 25/07/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 874

You deserved it 26 212

Get with the times

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 17:51 - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss's daughter. I found this out because my extremely homophobic boss told me and wants me to 'heal' them or get fired. I didn't even know my daughter was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 211

You deserved it 3 376

Bad thought

By Anonymous - 24/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Longmont

Today, I found out that my parents have thought I'm lesbian for at least a year. I now understand why my dad has been trying to get me to "hang out" with his co-worker's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 201

Misunderstood

By not a phobe - 16/07/2020 08:02

Today, my son told our whole family and all our friends that I kicked him out for being gay. I kicked him out because on more than one occasion he got drunk and sneaked random men in the house while he was supposed to be watching his younger siblings while I worked nights. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 325

You deserved it 239

Mixed messages

By mook - 15/07/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesn't know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 251

You deserved it 5 687

By Jason - 05/02/2018 15:30 - United States - Kenai

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is actually a man. Not a transgender person, I'm okay with that, but an actual gay man who gets a kick out of pranking other guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 538

You deserved it 1 005

Denial

By TedX - 19/08/2020 20:07

Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 226

Trans women are women

By whoops - 03/10/2020 05:06

Today, my son brought his new girlfriend home. I took him aside and hugged him, reassuring him that I loved and accepted him no matter his sexual preference. He looked at me confused and asked what I meant. His girl was obviously trans, but he had no idea. I didn’t know he didn’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 347

Next

Top comments

imamonster1 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 12:08

yeah this kid is a champ.

Sirrush 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 12:08

haha, that's a great idea, very original. But seriously, if you were a bit open minded with him you could have avoided this... I'm also kinda wondering just how you found out.

Comments

viral_fml 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 15:59

As people have said, a closed door doesn't always mean sex. Maybe they want to talk in private without parents walking past listening in every few minutes.

pltcllyincorrect 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 17:59

Yeah! I'm allowed to have guys in my room but that never includes sex. We just want to get away from everyone else in the house.

plexico 3

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:04

Your son is a total HACK. He lifted that scheme from "Three's Company!" John Ritter is giving him the finger from heaven!

FuzzyWalnuts 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:04

Your son is a smart motha ****** dude!

stephaniexamber 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:13

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. That's too funny. Smart kid.

j00ky 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:15

Oh snap, mark that down in the "why didn't I think of that?" column.

insert_name 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:20

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. omg thats totally kick ass! your son has to be the smartest kid ever

conan6 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:24

He is the winner.

such_is_life_fml 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:31

haha, one of my friends is kinda like that. She tells her parents that, literally every, guy she 'hangs out' with is gay so they wont bother her about 'em XD

VijgenVeger 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:32

haha.. that's the best thing I ever heard about.. Where is the: 'screw you, that's awesome'-button?

doubled_s 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:40

hahaha awesome. what a smart kid.

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The Top

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 96

Today, I have a horribly painful throat infection and can't talk. In spite of this, Dad keeps insisting I call people for him, meaning I have to make use of a text to speech program. Eight out of twelve people I've called on his behalf have hung up, thinking I'm a scambot. Dad is blaming me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, it's been 5 years since I started a relationship with a man who'd hidden he was impotent and I was too deep into the relationship to break it off. I accepted the sex without penetration. but since then his libido has dropped too, we have no sex, and he won't see a therapist. I'm looking up gigolos, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm 42. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 461

Today, while house sitting for my mother and stepfather, their elderly dog passed away. They live in such a remote location, the closest open vet office is a 2 hour drive, and the local one opens in 10 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 413

You deserved it 163

Today, as I sat on my couch heartbroken from a very recent breakup, my mother walked up to me and in a very comforting voice said, "Maybe he left you for someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 601

You deserved it 2 470

Today, I spoiled the ending of my favorite show for my friend, so now I'm banned from watching or discussing it with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 1 372

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 770

You deserved it 5 750

Today, I noticed my sister's dog was very sick. One trip to the vet's later, the dog was diagnosed with gut problems caused by bad diet, and a life expectancy of about 3 months. I confronted my sister, who admitted she had the dog on the same vegan diet as her, to “save the planet.” Selfish hippie cow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 549

You deserved it 109