Sex, Poopoo peepee and Intimacy: This is shit

This is shit

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 01:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 791

You deserved it 6 570

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Same thing different taste

By turdburger - 02/09/2009 05:56 - Australia

Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 171

You deserved it 7 097

Quickie

By cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 409

You deserved it 3 242

To each their own

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 18:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, taking a piss still gives me more pleasure than masturbation or sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 722

You deserved it 287

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 617

You deserved it 6 747

By Username - 06/02/2011 00:10 - United States

Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 008

You deserved it 7 245

By Helseac - 17/12/2018 03:00

Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 739

You deserved it 440

Today, on Dr. Phil…

By Anonymous - 23/09/2019 18:00

Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 908

You deserved it 477

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 243

Classic

By horriblegf - 26/02/2011 12:18 - United States

Today, I realized it feels better when I sneeze than when my boyfriend and I have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 652

You deserved it 5 948

By TheDumper - 21/06/2012 10:02 - United States - Chandler

Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 199

You deserved it 30 075

suckmyassitsmell 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:04

Someone is ready for anal!

suckmyassitsmell 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:23

Too bad this is fake. Girls don't shit. The poop fairy comes and takes it directly from their lower digestive tracts with her magic wand.

Comments

crimson_alize 2

Tuesday 4 January 2011 3:32

wow. A girl saying how perfectly more satisfying it is than sex must be super lesbian. Hav fun with justin bieber, lezbatron.

dajon221 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 4:39

wow u toasted that shit

bonnie_vb8 5

Tuesday 4 January 2011 8:04

I totally wanted to know that. ew

filthyfrith 0

Friday 29 July 2011 17:28

great comment couldn't agree more :) cute photo too :)

elisewilloughby 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 8:05

Freaks…

towboatdude 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 15:41

sounds like you need a little anal action then. if it feels good taking a dump

cbr1000 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 5:09

wow

paganboy666 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 5:59

how " lady like" lol

foolishgirl 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 7:24

its called **** sweetie ;)

johnnie254 7

Wednesday 5 January 2011 8:25

have anal sex since you like ******** so much!

r0m4n 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 7:28

uhm? what girl says that they took a dump? thats discusting!

Keywords

Management Work Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Relatable Health Healthy Lifestyle Money Birthday Family Mother in law Gifts Parents Public freakouts Education Exams Students Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 797

You deserved it 21 259

Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 129

The Top

Today, I found out that my friends finally scheduled their wedding. The entire friend group of the groom, which I am part of, is in the wedding. Except me. If I go I’ll have to watch my boyfriend, who is a groomsman, walk down the aisle with one of the bride’s friends on his arm while I sit alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 714

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my obese dog for a walk, since she hasn't had one in a long time. She was doing great, until we were about a mile from our house. She plopped down on the ground and wouldn't move. Nobody was home so I had to carry her all the way back to our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 923

You deserved it 5 585

Today, I found out my son's girlfriend is actually a webcam porn star he pays for private sessions. He’s somehow convinced himself they have a real relationship, and is spending thousands of pounds every week, on his credit card I may add. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 387

You deserved it 264

Today, I made a mosaic for my grandma out of her old crockery, after I had finished it, I found out from a neighbour that some of the plates looked like Wedgewood. So I dug through the stuff that I didn't use. It turns out the original lot would have been worth about £2000. With the stuff left, I'd be lucky to get £100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 1 389

Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating pain when she stuck the needle in my arm. Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently my inexperienced nurse had put it in my tendon instead of my vein. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 279

You deserved it 2 913

Today, I'm still waiting for my ex, who yesterday afternoon told me that he'd be here within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 454