Cars, Accident and Transportation: The Thin White Duke

The Thin White Duke

By DJ Clitter - 16/04/2012 19:35 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my daughter when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 101

You deserved it 33 561

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Same thing different taste

By Mommy - 26/06/2011 20:47 - United States

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 471

You deserved it 28 189

By driver26 - 14/12/2010 05:15 - Canada

Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 357

You deserved it 41 254

By prettyinpurple - 10/02/2009 04:54 - United States

Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 941

You deserved it 56 272

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 01:11 - United States

Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 726

You deserved it 48 502

By moxy - 24/01/2011 15:00

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 658

You deserved it 65 775

Kids these days, eh?

By child - 10/12/2015 02:24 - United States - Avon

Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 446

You deserved it 1 558

What are the odds?

By Anonymous - 25/11/2020 03:00 - Australia - Warners Bay

Today, while driving my car, there was a talk on the radio about road safety. I got so engrossed that I drifted and crashed my car into a sign promoting the talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 911

By John - 22/08/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 369

You deserved it 57 953

By Crashed - 01/01/2014 18:21 - United States - Evans

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 468

You deserved it 5 341

By Anonymous - 17/02/2014 17:43 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 636

You deserved it 44 411

BigBoyBounce 5

Tuesday 17 April 2012 2:50

Not only did you almost endanger your daughter, you almost endangered other drivers. People like you don't deserve to have your license.

Mademoiselle_fml 34

Tuesday 17 April 2012 2:57

I don't blame you. David Bowie's one sexy beast ;)

Comments

pissedartist 8

Sunday 2 February 2014 5:23

I daydream about David Bowie too!!

Moonlightring 14

Friday 16 May 2014 1:10

God, wtf man? Almost got your daughter killed because of you thinking about David Bowie?

krad204 21

Tuesday 2 September 2014 4:00

Don't we all?

Count_Coolness 26

Friday 17 October 2014 14:53

Fairly certain every male at some point in their lives have found David Bowie attractive! Heck I have a book on him in my car!

MrNiceGuy569 18

Friday 15 May 2015 23:44

So you endangered your daughter FOR A ******* DAYDREAM

fantasyworld 37

Thursday 17 September 2015 4:17

You need your license revoked.

JustMe31412 2

Monday 22 February 2016 7:21

David Bowie passed away. Still daydreaming about him?

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Fire Kids Money Food Capitalism Miscellaneous Clothes AITA Thief Health Intimacy Birthday Death Love Sex Disability Abuse Fish Camping Vegan Holidays Ableism Video games Geek

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Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 89

Today, my house was set on fire, courtesy of my ex-girlfriend, who found out that I have a new girlfriend. Most of our belongings are now reduced to ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 330

You deserved it 4 034

Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 759

You deserved it 4 167

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 596

You deserved it 5 817

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door and turned the handle, a little old lady ripped the door open and yelled, "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 881

You deserved it 4 535

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 323

You deserved it 20 415

Today, what started as my mom calling my grandma for a recipe turned into them discussing the philosophical reason behind my baking. I apparently picked up baking because I'm depressed over unemployment. And here I thought I just liked the smell of baked goods. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 192

You deserved it 2 025

The Thin White Duke

Same thing different taste

Kids these days, eh?

What are the odds?

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